Cheese roll tour of Southland

[dustbinflowers]

Driving around Southland and Otago, I generally go for a cheese roll and a coffee wherever I stop.

This first review has just been sparked by a stop in Riversdale, a village between Lumsden and Gore. There will be many more. I do this as a public service for all. Happy to expand it to a review of travelling food and drink and toilet stops in general if others have reviews to chuck up.

First up, the Blue Diamond care dairy and takeaway, Riversdale. I got two cheese rolls and a small flat white. $9.20. Lovely people. The cheese rolls were pretty ok, standard white bread, cheese with a bit of that secret ingredient that Southlanders all know, but which cannot be told (hint, it's not jizz). Points off for being made with margarine not butter.
For gods sake do not buy coffee from this place. One sip was enough- astoundingly, undrinkably bad.

[dustbinflowers]

Next: Bracken Hall, Mossburn.
The small flat white was passable- not great, but ok. The cheese rolls were great. Waiting cold in the cabinet, they were toasted on demand, presented with extra butter to slather over the top. Good strong cheese and secret ingredient. Standard size, pretty damn good! I like Mossburn, it is the gateway to Fiordland. It is a good place to pause before tackling the last 45 minutes to Te Anau, which usually consists of hundreds of giant tour buses, rental cars on the wrong side of the road, and angry locals in 4wds.
I once witnessed fifty guys chanting on the back of a flat deck truck driving slowly down the road in Mossburn. It turned out to be the funeral for a truck driver who played with the local rugby club. Deliverance as.

[Dead Kid]

Although I'd been around most of Southland and Otago as a teenager, I only had eyes for meat pies. I didn't learn cheese rolls were a thing until after my last visit to Dunedin in 2015!

I have however heard of expat Southlanders heaping the onion on them, so if that's the secret ingredient then y'all need to get a new better-tasting secret ingredient.

[dustbinflowers]

Nope, that isn't the secret ingredient, although I'll have to try that, it sounds good.

[Dubpunker]

Yummy. I would like to have a cheese roll.

Tour over?

[dustbinflowers]

That leg of the tour is over. There will be more in the next couple of weeks- probably Dunedin- Catlins, and Dunedin- Oamaru. I'm gluten intolerant and have to recover from eating them before heading out to review others. Such is my dedication...

[Dubpunker]

Top! Have a nice summer.

[dave-brown]

Its the small things in life. Top thread!

[Dixon Cider A.C.]

Had a couple of these for the first time last night. Central Otago goin off

[dustbinflowers]

Cheese roll from the slightly less shit cafe at Dunedin airport. $5 for a jumbo cheese roll- lots of bread and a fair whack of cheese, but very little flavour. The roll was toasted and was oily, but not from butter. The largeness of the roll meant it needed to be cut up to be eaten- which immediately makes it a bit pointless since it is meant to be finger food . Not great, but still looked better than what was at the other cafe.
Oh, the flat white was a bit shit. Also, Dunedin airport- what is with only takeaway cups? Back in the freaking sustainability dark ages.

[General Mutante]

I had one at Eastgate mall on Saturday after picking up a birthday present for a mate of mine at Penny Lane. Took ages to get ready ‘cos the two chicks at the kiosk were distracted by some doddery old cunt demanding a “cold drink” but failing to specify what kind and paying for it with coins from 1896. When I did finally get my cheese roll I brushed the cobwebs off myself and sat don to find the exterior dry and unbuttered, then to add insult to injury all the cheese fell out the bottom. Shit like that is how wars start.

[Drax]

So does anyone know what the secret ingredient is?

I'm not convinced it isn't jizz.

[mmmm....good crack]

think its just onion soup mix

[General Mutante]

We only jizz in them if we’re serving them to Aucklanders.

[Red_switch]

think its just onion soup mix

That's generally it, yes.

[General Mutante]

You treacherous swine. Leave the South Island immediately.

[General Mutante]

We should drag you behind a tractor and put you in the wickerman for revealing such sacred mysteries to outsiders.

[Dead Kid]

Now you've gone and revealed that a Mainland wicker man isn't complete without a few warm bodies stuffed inside. Add yourself to the queue.

[Drax]

So it's jizz?

[General Mutante]

The wickerman is an open secret. We’ve got to strike fear into the hearts of outsiders somehow.

[dustbinflowers]

Yeah it's jizz . Either human or sheep.

[kaotick]

If only I knew, no jizz or misplaced smegma in my cheese rolls. The best are home made, we keep that recipe safe down these ways. Onion soup is merely a urban legend