How to go vegan without getting arrested for bio-terrorism?

[Max]

So, I got myself a vegan recipe book and started working my way through it. Within a week my arse was a weapon of mass destruction, I should have hired myself out to Bashar al-Assad.

[Rabooyah]

try again in free jokes n shit

[haiku terror shades]

there's a product out there called "de-gas" I believe.

Herbs and spices traditionally used with vegetable and legume dishes as carminatives are sometimes absent from new school vege/vegan cookbooks or are not included in enough quantity and they also tend to up the amount of onions in dishes which can be a fartastrophe.

When it comes to defusing spices cumin is particularly good as is caraway and fennel, get a mortar and pestle set and grind them from whole.

Always cook beans with Bay Leaves.

I have heard good things about Episote but it's very hard to get ahold of.

[Philfy Vermin]

but farting is awesome!

[dustbinflowers]

If you were not vege or vegan before starting, maybe consider easing your way into it for less trauma on yourself and those around you. Try the recipes as side dishes maybe, or start off having these meals two or three times a week. Changing your diet radically in a short space of time can fuck you up.

[Yellow Romans]

If cooking beans I have heard that changing the soak water a couple of times before cooking, and then again whilst cooking will help prevent them making you fart. But I think it's more fun to just let nature take its course. Get a cigarette lighter and try lighting your farts. Drop clangers in crowds and walk away. I did one (well lots actually) in a really big crowd on a hot day. The dude behind me said in a huge booming voice "Damn, who cut the cheese?" It took a fair bit of effort not to start laughing at that!

[Dixon Cider A.C.]

haha fart in people's faces and piss in their drinks and shit in their mouths haha

[mmmm....good crack]

Cum in their ears

[Dixon Cider A.C.]

Does your old lady get into ear cumming bro

[Kev Japan]

If cooking beans I have heard that changing the soak water a couple of times before cooking, and then again whilst cooking will help prevent them making you fart. But I think it's more fun to just let nature take its course. Get a cigarette lighter and try lighting your farts. Drop clangers in crowds and walk away. I did one (well lots actually) in a really big crowd on a hot day. The dude behind me said in a huge booming voice "Damn, who cut the cheese?" It took a fair bit of effort not to start laughing at that!

I can't believe I missed this thread. When I first got really into making hummus, I'd purposely add tons of raw garlic to get back at the bass player in one of my old bands. He was the only person who gave me any shit about my dietary choices, so I'd cropdust him during band practices. I got him so badly a few times that tears rolled down his cheeks.

[snuff]

Kev was it you that used to refer to their farts as 'vegetarian protests'?

Still use that line from time to time...

[Kev Japan]

Kev was it you that used to refer to their farts as 'vegetarian protests'?

Still use that line from time to time...

Vegetarian waftfare.