How do you shit?

All that crap that doesn't fit any of the other forums
User avatar
nails
Posts: 2184
Joined: Thu Dec 01, 2005 12:27 pm

How do you shit?

Postby nails » Sat Sep 11, 2010 7:33 pm

Innovation

Image

so you can sh*t like this.

Image



for full article

http://www.naturesplatform.com/health_benefits.html


Image
Historical Background
Man, like his fellow primates, has always used the squatting position for elimination. Infants of every culture instinctively adopt this posture to relieve themselves. Although it may seem strange to someone who has spent his entire life deprived of the experience, this is the way the human body was designed to function.

And this is the way our ancestors performed their bodily functions until the middle of the 19th century. Before that time, chair-like toilets had only been used by royalty and the disabled. But with the advent of indoor plumbing in the 1800's, the throne-like water closet was invented 22 to give ordinary people the same "dignity" previously reserved for kings and queens. The plumber and cabinet maker who designed it had no knowledge of human physiology – and sincerely believed that they were improving people's lives.

The new device symbolized the "progress" and "creativity" of western civilization. It showed that Man could "improve" on Nature and transcend the primitive cultural practices followed by the poor "benighted" natives in the colonies. The "White Man's Burden" typified the condescending Victorian attitude toward other races and cultures.

The British plumbing industry moved quickly to install indoor plumbing and water closets throughout the country. The great benefits of improved sanitation caused people to overlook a major ergonomic blunder: The sitting position makes elimination difficult and incomplete, and forces one to strain.

Those who could not overlook this drawback had to keep silent, because the subject was considered unmentionable. Furthermore, how could they criticize the "necessary" used by Queen Victoria herself? (Hers was gold-plated, befitting the self-styled "Empress of India.")

So, like the Emperor’s New Clothes, the water closet was tacitly accepted. It was a grudging acceptance, as evidenced by the popularity of "squatting stools" sold in the famous department store, Harrods of London. As shown below on the left, these footstools merely elevated one's feet in a crude attempt to imitate squatting.




Learn more about this comparison
The rest of Western Europe, as well as Australia and North America, did not want to appear less civilized than Great Britain, whose vast empire at the time made it the most powerful country on Earth. So, within a few decades, most of the industrialized world had adopted "The Emperor's New Throne."

150 years ago, no one could have predicted how this change would affect the health of the population. But today, many physicians blame the modern toilet for the high incidence of a number of serious ailments. Westernized countries have much higher rates of colon and pelvic disease, as illustrated by this report in the Israel Journal of Medical Science:

The prevalences of bowel diseases (hemorrhoids, appendicitis, polyps, ulcerative colitis, irritable bowel syndrome, diverticular disease, and colon cancer) are similar in South African whites and in populations of prosperous western countries. Among rural South African blacks with a traditional life style, these diseases are very uncommon or almost unknown.19
The following sections will examine these and other diseases in more detail to see how an unnatural toilet posture could produce such a wide range of harmful effects.






The Way to Go

by Wal Bowles


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Not only are we what we eat,
We're also what we don't excrete.
And if we sit instead of squat,
Retaining some of what we've got,
This putrefaction will increase,
When what we want is fast release
Of toxic waste from bowel and cell.
So, to keep our bodies well,
Squatting helps the waste to flow.
Squatting is the way to go!
Image

User avatar
xSUSPECTx
argumentative cunt
Posts: 10959
Joined: Sat May 17, 2008 12:18 pm
Location: the straight edge

Re: How do you shit?

Postby xSUSPECTx » Sat Sep 11, 2010 8:00 pm

when constipated i have wished mightily for such a device.

or better yet, one of these.
Image
Carly Ngarotata-Simon wrote:U misd two commas u illiterate fuk. It should read...mainstream, whilst at the same time, ... Who da dumb cunt now. Im bilingual. I can txt speak n also write in 'proper' english havin bn a legal secretary 4 13 years. So im actualy fukn streams ahead in inteligence ova u. Plus i hav a life! I dnt waste my time typing evry leta out cos i have a life! Dum ass. Peace, im out. Hahahahaha

Spots2012 wrote:do animal rights activists vehemently oppose Maori eating pigs etc, or are they willing to let that one slide?

User avatar
buckton
Posts: 2392
Joined: Mon Dec 27, 2004 9:35 pm
Location: The Nightosphere

Re: How do you shit?

Postby buckton » Sat Sep 11, 2010 8:06 pm

I have no problem shitting in the throne like seated position and rarely have to force it.
ImageImageImage

User avatar
Danny-Boy
Posts: 1647
Joined: Tue Jan 23, 2007 10:50 am

Re: How do you shit?

Postby Danny-Boy » Sat Sep 11, 2010 8:18 pm

I stand up to wipe my ass.
Image

User avatar
cirE
Posts: 17440
Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2004 7:59 pm
Location: your face
Contact:

Re: How do you shit?

Postby cirE » Sat Sep 11, 2010 8:27 pm

scrunch or fold?
Future Shock wrote:freudian slip, went downa likea sack o potatoes

Image
0.21 6.78 3.31

User avatar
snuff
Information Highway Patrol
Posts: 11349
Joined: Wed Aug 21, 2002 6:56 pm
Location: Vault 101

Re: How do you shit?

Postby snuff » Sat Sep 11, 2010 8:30 pm

clean snap ftw
I guess you really need to ask yourself... What Would Graeme Do?

User avatar
Danny-Boy
Posts: 1647
Joined: Tue Jan 23, 2007 10:50 am

Re: How do you shit?

Postby Danny-Boy » Sat Sep 11, 2010 8:33 pm

cirE wrote:scrunch or fold?

Combination. Mostly fold.
Image

User avatar
[TeamPropagandhi]Mob King
Posts: 3094
Joined: Tue Aug 20, 2002 7:15 pm
Location: Wu-town
Contact:

Re: How do you shit?

Postby [TeamPropagandhi]Mob King » Sat Sep 11, 2010 10:46 pm

Squat toilets > smearing my butt-cheeks where your haemorrhoids have just been
Make assassinations, not war!

User avatar
xSUSPECTx
argumentative cunt
Posts: 10959
Joined: Sat May 17, 2008 12:18 pm
Location: the straight edge

Re: How do you shit?

Postby xSUSPECTx » Sat Sep 11, 2010 10:54 pm

i am a squat toilet supporter, might have to make some sort of fold out step/stool arrangement when i build my house.
Carly Ngarotata-Simon wrote:U misd two commas u illiterate fuk. It should read...mainstream, whilst at the same time, ... Who da dumb cunt now. Im bilingual. I can txt speak n also write in 'proper' english havin bn a legal secretary 4 13 years. So im actualy fukn streams ahead in inteligence ova u. Plus i hav a life! I dnt waste my time typing evry leta out cos i have a life! Dum ass. Peace, im out. Hahahahaha

Spots2012 wrote:do animal rights activists vehemently oppose Maori eating pigs etc, or are they willing to let that one slide?

User avatar
nails
Posts: 2184
Joined: Thu Dec 01, 2005 12:27 pm

Re: How do you shit?

Postby nails » Sun Sep 12, 2010 11:48 am

Never tried a squat before, is it that comfortable?
Image

User avatar
xSUSPECTx
argumentative cunt
Posts: 10959
Joined: Sat May 17, 2008 12:18 pm
Location: the straight edge

Re: How do you shit?

Postby xSUSPECTx » Sun Sep 12, 2010 12:07 pm

youve never shat in the bush, seriously?
Carly Ngarotata-Simon wrote:U misd two commas u illiterate fuk. It should read...mainstream, whilst at the same time, ... Who da dumb cunt now. Im bilingual. I can txt speak n also write in 'proper' english havin bn a legal secretary 4 13 years. So im actualy fukn streams ahead in inteligence ova u. Plus i hav a life! I dnt waste my time typing evry leta out cos i have a life! Dum ass. Peace, im out. Hahahahaha

Spots2012 wrote:do animal rights activists vehemently oppose Maori eating pigs etc, or are they willing to let that one slide?

User avatar
wassup rockers
Posts: 3251
Joined: Sun Nov 04, 2007 10:56 am
Location: Auckland City

Re: How do you shit?

Postby wassup rockers » Sun Sep 12, 2010 12:09 pm

squating rules

User avatar
Marrow
real poo particles
Posts: 3749
Joined: Sun Aug 03, 2008 12:38 pm
Location: lost in the Warp
Contact:

Re: How do you shit?

Postby Marrow » Sun Sep 12, 2010 12:40 pm

Standing, fold.

I dislike shitting in the bush.

User avatar
nails
Posts: 2184
Joined: Thu Dec 01, 2005 12:27 pm

Re: How do you shit?

Postby nails » Sun Sep 12, 2010 2:21 pm

nah never shat in the bush, never needed to
never shat under water either

im looking forward to shitting while climbing a cliff
Image

User avatar
daggers
Posts: 8618
Joined: Tue Dec 20, 2005 9:54 pm
Location: beat it, valley jerk!

Re: How do you shit?

Postby daggers » Sun Sep 12, 2010 3:51 pm

sitting, 3 squares fold
https://www.discogs.com/user/daggers_NZ/collection

User avatar
Lummoxgrinder
Posts: 1966
Joined: Sat Feb 18, 2006 3:15 pm
Location: North Dunedin
Contact:

Re: How do you shit?

Postby Lummoxgrinder » Sun Sep 12, 2010 4:16 pm

usually take my DS to the shitter. Way better than taking the newspaper.

User avatar
xSUSPECTx
argumentative cunt
Posts: 10959
Joined: Sat May 17, 2008 12:18 pm
Location: the straight edge

Re: How do you shit?

Postby xSUSPECTx » Sun Sep 12, 2010 4:38 pm

i sometimes take my lappy
Carly Ngarotata-Simon wrote:U misd two commas u illiterate fuk. It should read...mainstream, whilst at the same time, ... Who da dumb cunt now. Im bilingual. I can txt speak n also write in 'proper' english havin bn a legal secretary 4 13 years. So im actualy fukn streams ahead in inteligence ova u. Plus i hav a life! I dnt waste my time typing evry leta out cos i have a life! Dum ass. Peace, im out. Hahahahaha

Spots2012 wrote:do animal rights activists vehemently oppose Maori eating pigs etc, or are they willing to let that one slide?

Red_switch
Posts: 6127
Joined: Mon Oct 16, 2006 2:24 pm
Location: mosgiel

Re: How do you shit?

Postby Red_switch » Mon Sep 13, 2010 8:34 am

I can't have a shit without taking reading material. Normally take 2-3 books/magazines, as I can never decide which.
I think it's lint.

Image

User avatar
buckton
Posts: 2392
Joined: Mon Dec 27, 2004 9:35 pm
Location: The Nightosphere

Postby buckton » Mon Sep 13, 2010 10:41 am

I'd probably fall over in my shit if I tried to squat.

User avatar
akaxo
Posts: 8544
Joined: Sun Aug 07, 2005 11:28 am
Location: antichristchurch

Re: How do you shit?

Postby akaxo » Mon Sep 13, 2010 10:55 am

well ya are meant to dig a hole first to squat over so you'd have to be pretty unco, or unlucky, to pull that off.

lived where the only toilet was a longdrop designed to make squatting compulsory for a while, does seem a bit better tbh.

really far too much information than required in this thread :?

don't really get the reading/taking entertainment while having a crap thing. you all really badly constipated so it takes fucking ages in there or something? eat some fucking all bran.

and in case ya not sure if you are or not:
Image
Types 1 and 2 indicate constipation, with 3 and 4 being the "ideal stools" especially the latter, as they are the easiest to defecate, and 5–7 tending towards diarrhoea.
We must secure the extinction of all people and no future for any children

User avatar
Hipster_Faggot
Posts: 833
Joined: Sun Jul 04, 2010 10:13 pm

Re: How do you shit?

Postby Hipster_Faggot » Mon Sep 13, 2010 11:35 am

Squatting really makes an opiate binge easier to handle
Image

Fadge.
Posts: 872
Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2007 9:00 pm
Location: FUCK

Re: How do you shit?

Postby Fadge. » Mon Sep 13, 2010 1:10 pm

cool bro.
Image

User avatar
buckton
Posts: 2392
Joined: Mon Dec 27, 2004 9:35 pm
Location: The Nightosphere

Postby buckton » Mon Sep 13, 2010 3:36 pm

Type 4 would be considered a healthy shit, yeah?

User avatar
Marrow
real poo particles
Posts: 3749
Joined: Sun Aug 03, 2008 12:38 pm
Location: lost in the Warp
Contact:

Re: How do you shit?

Postby Marrow » Mon Sep 13, 2010 4:59 pm

thats what is says, if you read the footnote.

I also do not understand reading material. If it takes me more than a minute or two, I know I've been eating really badly or binge drinking.

User avatar
xSUSPECTx
argumentative cunt
Posts: 10959
Joined: Sat May 17, 2008 12:18 pm
Location: the straight edge

Re: How do you shit?

Postby xSUSPECTx » Mon Sep 13, 2010 5:01 pm

nah that one means you have bowel cancer.
Carly Ngarotata-Simon wrote:U misd two commas u illiterate fuk. It should read...mainstream, whilst at the same time, ... Who da dumb cunt now. Im bilingual. I can txt speak n also write in 'proper' english havin bn a legal secretary 4 13 years. So im actualy fukn streams ahead in inteligence ova u. Plus i hav a life! I dnt waste my time typing evry leta out cos i have a life! Dum ass. Peace, im out. Hahahahaha

Spots2012 wrote:do animal rights activists vehemently oppose Maori eating pigs etc, or are they willing to let that one slide?

User avatar
sick cunt
Posts: 245
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2007 6:09 pm
Location: HELL

Re: How do you shit?

Postby sick cunt » Mon Sep 13, 2010 5:54 pm

6 and 7 look like my shit after a night on the woodys,fuck yeah gotta have a read of something while taking a dump

User avatar
cirE
Posts: 17440
Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2004 7:59 pm
Location: your face
Contact:

Re: How do you shit?

Postby cirE » Mon Sep 13, 2010 6:01 pm

Red_switch wrote:I can't have a shit without taking reading material. Normally take 2-3 books/magazines, as I can never decide which.

i hate shitting and sitting there smelling my own shit. do you like the smell of your own shit? i just shit and gap. got more important things to do. shitting takes me 5 minutes max. i know people that sit in the shitter for hours reading shit though. shit.

shit.
Future Shock wrote:freudian slip, went downa likea sack o potatoes

Image
0.21 6.78 3.31

User avatar
Lummoxgrinder
Posts: 1966
Joined: Sat Feb 18, 2006 3:15 pm
Location: North Dunedin
Contact:

Re: How do you shit?

Postby Lummoxgrinder » Mon Sep 13, 2010 6:24 pm

Used to take a good hour long shit at my old job.. Just it was so boring most of the time and i'd do it after lunch to extend my lunch break. Some times didn't even shit just sat there reading the trashy mags that float round engineering workshops

User avatar
yossarian
Posts: 4652
Joined: Thu Sep 09, 2004 11:49 am
Location: I'VE SAID MY BEEF

Re: How do you shit?

Postby yossarian » Mon Sep 13, 2010 6:27 pm

Mostly Awesome, Sometimes Funny, Occasionally WTF!?!?!?!?!?

User avatar
Marrow
real poo particles
Posts: 3749
Joined: Sun Aug 03, 2008 12:38 pm
Location: lost in the Warp
Contact:

Re: How do you shit?

Postby Marrow » Mon Sep 13, 2010 6:52 pm

gold advice from my section commander: "cut it short and wipe it deep, lads"


Return to “Miscellaneous”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 7 guests