The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

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The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby erinfection » Mon Aug 10, 2009 11:47 pm

Yo punkas. Let us not forget his finest moments.

Here's one of myall time favs:

JohnnyCakes wrote:Me and Mel went to a bar covered in dogshit (us not the bar STUPIDZ) and drank for about two hours and didn't notice we were covered in dogshit. Even though people were looking at us real funny and staying really really well clear of us.

It was when we left I was walking behind her and noticed and I said YOUR COVERD IN DOGSHIT and she said SO ARE YOU.

We cracked up. Hnunh.

Oh and once I got so fucked up I tried to get oral sex off my mates gf while he was in the toilet at Tramways then later we went to Claires and I leapt across a table at a bloke for no reason and took a swing at him so the bouncers threw me down the stairs and then my mate gave me the keys to his house and pushed me into a taxi then I went back and kicked his front door down even though I had the key (no memory of any of this which is prolly a good thing) then attacked his flatmate then went into the lounge took all my clothes off vomited in all the corners of the room then shat all over the floor and rolled around in it then broke up the furniture.

Went to a family funeral stayed at Motel with my sis and mum. Got so fucked at the wake that I walked into mum and sis' room at 4 am naked and tried to piss all over them thinking it was the toilet.

Smashed in a church with a big crucifix.

Hired a 6 foot 7 polynesian tranny to give me a blowie to see what it would be like getting blown by a big tranny.

Mainlined e.

Attacked a comedian doing a show in front of about 500 people then proceeded to do a striptease.

Played a gig at SFBH wher e the audience were boring so we took off all our clothes then beat each other up then attacked the audience and got banned for a year.

Did actual fight club with some strangers in PN in the Stomach carpark and got mean concussion.

Shot a ginger kitten like one of the ones you'd see on a calendar 5 times with a Sniper Rifle.

Stayed awake for 17 days at one point, on;ly eating for 5 of those days.

Been told I'm going to be killed for drug deals gone wrong.

Had corrupt policeman on payroll.

Done swinger pool parties where husband implores you to fuck his wife who is spreadeagled in front of you cus he wants to watch n jack off.

Cunningly nocturnally placed bag full of large fish under someone's caravan so it rots slowly and fucks up their life.

Worked for both the Army AND the Police.

Oh I rang up my mixed race gf who I loved heaps n told her she should be gassed and burnt in an oven for not being racially pure (blackout again).

Rooted a dental assistant in a dentists chair with the gas mask n shit.

Got an 8 year sober person in AA to drink, rooted her and got her back on the sauce n kicked out of the AA house she was living in. Then got bored n left her.

To get free drinks: have pretended to be Irish; have dressed in sandals and walk shorts and a tie and pretended to be a plumber called Shane from Wainui; have pretended to be a Swiss Doctor from a Love Clinic with a 14 step programme in the Alps; have been a twink's bad boy; told someone I'll stab them.

There are other things.

It feels unreal to write this shit down. Cheers Mugabe for the thread haha
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Re: The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby crain » Tue Aug 11, 2009 12:50 am

the fuck? he died?
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Re: The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby dclxvi » Tue Aug 11, 2009 12:53 am

yeah, couple weeks ago. i never knew him beyond this forum but fuck, what a choice sounding cunt. total party maniac if ever i heard of one. i'm sure the pnhc doodz can testify to that, ha ha
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Re: The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby crain » Tue Aug 11, 2009 12:58 am

wha' happened?
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Re: The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby xSUSPECTx » Tue Aug 11, 2009 6:28 am

i think it was officially an epileptic fit, but i suspect it was a lifrtime catching up.
erinfection wrote:
JohnnyCakes wrote:Oh and once I got so fucked up I tried to get oral sex off my mates gf while he was in the toilet at Tramways then later we went to Claires and I leapt across a table at a bloke for no reason and took a swing at him so the bouncers threw me down the stairs and then my mate gave me the keys to his house and pushed me into a taxi then I went back and kicked his front door down even though I had the key (no memory of any of this which is prolly a good thing) then attacked his flatmate then went into the lounge took all my clothes off vomited in all the corners of the room then shat all over the floor and rolled around in it then broke up the furniture.

the full version of this story is amzing, but i cant find it buried in the forums
Carly Ngarotata-Simon wrote:U misd two commas u illiterate fuk. It should read...mainstream, whilst at the same time, ... Who da dumb cunt now. Im bilingual. I can txt speak n also write in 'proper' english havin bn a legal secretary 4 13 years. So im actualy fukn streams ahead in inteligence ova u. Plus i hav a life! I dnt waste my time typing evry leta out cos i have a life! Dum ass. Peace, im out. Hahahahaha

Spots2012 wrote:do animal rights activists vehemently oppose Maori eating pigs etc, or are they willing to let that one slide?

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Re: The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby Dead Kid » Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:48 am

General Mutante wrote:"So you think you're floating in mint sauce son"

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Re: The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby Phlegm » Thu Aug 13, 2009 5:30 pm

Is their youtubage of the TV ad he starred in?
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Re: The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby Maleficent » Thu Aug 13, 2009 5:32 pm

both John and Leith are in that.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aS6-b7CONDI

heard this in a shop yesterday, naturally thought of Johnny Amore.

:)
Last edited by Maleficent on Thu Aug 13, 2009 5:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby mark tyler » Fri Aug 14, 2009 5:59 am

Fuck! What a character. This shit is for real...? Getting head off a 6 foot 7 tranny...? hahahaha
I wish i'd known the guy.
RIP
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Re: The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby xSUSPECTx » Fri Aug 14, 2009 9:26 am

jeffjack in a dress :?
Carly Ngarotata-Simon wrote:U misd two commas u illiterate fuk. It should read...mainstream, whilst at the same time, ... Who da dumb cunt now. Im bilingual. I can txt speak n also write in 'proper' english havin bn a legal secretary 4 13 years. So im actualy fukn streams ahead in inteligence ova u. Plus i hav a life! I dnt waste my time typing evry leta out cos i have a life! Dum ass. Peace, im out. Hahahahaha

Spots2012 wrote:do animal rights activists vehemently oppose Maori eating pigs etc, or are they willing to let that one slide?

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Re: The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby Can I get an Amen » Fri Sep 04, 2009 5:08 pm

Was thinkin of him is all...going through some photo's last night and holy fucken jesus mother of Lemmy its been years...i'll scan em if I can but ANYWAY for now...

Memorial show planned.
more deets to come but so far

"Fucken Johnny"
The Adelaide (As is only fitting)
Sat Oct 17th

In no particular order - Sick66, Black Chrome, Themes, Ace (Will either DJ or show up with a band...he aint decided yet) + more...maybe

Donation to get in and will probably pass hat around...all proceeds to go to paying for the sound guy (which is fuck all cos he's doing it for the cause cos hes obviously a good cunt) - and the rest goes on the bar for Johhny's Last Call cos hell it IS Johnny after all.

chur x
Last edited by Can I get an Amen on Fri Sep 04, 2009 5:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby xSUSPECTx » Fri Sep 04, 2009 5:16 pm

WWJD fuck are you looking for more casualties?

pencil me in anyway, the long arm of the law will have loosened its grip on my scabby shoulder by then.
Carly Ngarotata-Simon wrote:U misd two commas u illiterate fuk. It should read...mainstream, whilst at the same time, ... Who da dumb cunt now. Im bilingual. I can txt speak n also write in 'proper' english havin bn a legal secretary 4 13 years. So im actualy fukn streams ahead in inteligence ova u. Plus i hav a life! I dnt waste my time typing evry leta out cos i have a life! Dum ass. Peace, im out. Hahahahaha

Spots2012 wrote:do animal rights activists vehemently oppose Maori eating pigs etc, or are they willing to let that one slide?

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Re: The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby Can I get an Amen » Fri Sep 04, 2009 5:45 pm

Suspect wrote:WWJD fuck are you looking for more casualties?

pencil me in anyway, the long arm of the law will have loosened its grip on my scabby shoulder by then.


Good point maybe your right. I'll edit

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Re: The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby xSUSPECTx » Fri Sep 04, 2009 5:56 pm

nah, you shouldnt have, sorry mate, i just often worry im on the same road as johnny, slammy and skoota, im at least 10 years behind em, but my(court appointed) alcohol counselor sez im looking like joining em before long, i reckon thats bullshit cos i dont hit shit like them boys at all, but its def food for thought
Carly Ngarotata-Simon wrote:U misd two commas u illiterate fuk. It should read...mainstream, whilst at the same time, ... Who da dumb cunt now. Im bilingual. I can txt speak n also write in 'proper' english havin bn a legal secretary 4 13 years. So im actualy fukn streams ahead in inteligence ova u. Plus i hav a life! I dnt waste my time typing evry leta out cos i have a life! Dum ass. Peace, im out. Hahahahaha

Spots2012 wrote:do animal rights activists vehemently oppose Maori eating pigs etc, or are they willing to let that one slide?

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Re: The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby fingers » Tue Sep 08, 2009 5:00 pm

fuck i'd love to see the ad we were in together. ive only seen it on tv once.

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Re: The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby Can I get an Amen » Wed Sep 09, 2009 6:11 pm

funny
bro I just watched it
Where exactly are you?
I saw some hands that I know arent Johnny's but they look a little feminine and a blurry waitress setting a table up in the background.

Come along to the show. Maybe we play it for you

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Re: The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby Can I get an Amen » Wed Sep 09, 2009 6:13 pm

oh and line up ch ch ch changes...

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Re: The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby Craig_Bastard » Wed Sep 09, 2009 6:33 pm

If anyone has that ad, can you pass it onto me or Belinda-Lee or Adam? I saw his mother on the weekend in melbourne.

She is a really nice lady and would like to see it sometime.
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Re: The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby dustbinflowers » Thu Sep 10, 2009 1:26 pm

I would like to see it too
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Re: The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby fingers » Thu Sep 10, 2009 2:36 pm

i'm the hands adam! those are my slightly feminine hands! they didnt wanna use his because of his lower arm tattoos and shit.

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Re: The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby xSUSPECTx » Thu Sep 10, 2009 10:31 pm

youre the blurry waitress too arent you?


0ooer
Carly Ngarotata-Simon wrote:U misd two commas u illiterate fuk. It should read...mainstream, whilst at the same time, ... Who da dumb cunt now. Im bilingual. I can txt speak n also write in 'proper' english havin bn a legal secretary 4 13 years. So im actualy fukn streams ahead in inteligence ova u. Plus i hav a life! I dnt waste my time typing evry leta out cos i have a life! Dum ass. Peace, im out. Hahahahaha

Spots2012 wrote:do animal rights activists vehemently oppose Maori eating pigs etc, or are they willing to let that one slide?

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Re: The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby fingers » Fri Sep 11, 2009 2:31 pm

dreams are free phil. the waitress in that ad now owns the whole fucking restaurant!

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Re: The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby xSUSPECTx » Sat Sep 12, 2009 1:33 am

sounds like my kinda girl

even if shes not 14
Carly Ngarotata-Simon wrote:U misd two commas u illiterate fuk. It should read...mainstream, whilst at the same time, ... Who da dumb cunt now. Im bilingual. I can txt speak n also write in 'proper' english havin bn a legal secretary 4 13 years. So im actualy fukn streams ahead in inteligence ova u. Plus i hav a life! I dnt waste my time typing evry leta out cos i have a life! Dum ass. Peace, im out. Hahahahaha

Spots2012 wrote:do animal rights activists vehemently oppose Maori eating pigs etc, or are they willing to let that one slide?

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Re: The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby Can I get an Amen » Sat Sep 12, 2009 5:43 pm

Craig fuckin' Gunn wrote:If anyone has that ad, can you pass it onto me or Belinda-Lee or Adam? I saw his mother on the weekend in melbourne.

She is a really nice lady and would like to see it sometime.


I'll send to his Mum bro.
Adam and B'lee both have I gave it to them a whiles back

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Re: The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby A-DAMN SICK » Thu Sep 17, 2009 10:35 am

fingers wrote:i'm the hands adam! those are my slightly feminine hands! they didnt wanna use his because of his lower arm tattoos and shit.


HAHA That wasn't me BUT I was wondering who's sexy hands were in that commercial... Man you could be a fucking hand model. Next time I see you at The Adelaide I might ask you to pose for me...

I once drove to Wanganui to pick up Johnny and drive him back down to Welly. He sat me down in that restaurant, tucked me in, fed me a massive feed then on the drive home we smoked pot and talked about all the sexually deviant things we would do to all the waitresses. We then pulled into Wellington, went to The Hong Kong BBQ ate jellyfish and ducks feet, yeah yeah I know that sound gross but it was actually very fucking tasty. We only ordered it cause we wanted some street cred among the chinese owners. They wouldn't let us order it and we insisted. They continued to laugh and say no so Johnny got staunch (as a joke but played it off like he was serious) and said real loud, "BRING US SOME FUCKEN JELLYFISH AND FEET...NOW!!!" The women looked surprised then at me and I said "GO ON GET... ME SO HUUUNGRY"
I thought we were gonna get kicked out but she just smiled uncomfortably and went and got us a massive plate of Jelly Fish and Ducks feet. We chowed down then went and played a SICK66 gig at The Adelaide. Just as we were tuning up me and Johnny looked at each other real weird and both started turning green. I apologized to the audience in advance and explained me and Johnny just ate some feet and I think we're about to start tripping... We played everything in half time until Cale got fucked off with us (wasn't hard really, he was always getting fucked off with us) then we all just stopped playing and said fuck this shit and just walked off stage. We left that show, wasted, tripping and mad at each other. Mad is an understatement... Cale ditched us both and I ditched Johnny at the bar even though he was gonna stay with me. Jellyfish and feet can do weird things to a man.
The next day we had a big SICK66 show at Bodega with STICKY FILTH and not only did we hate each other but we didn't want to play the show and still felt sick UNTIL like a gift from the heavens above and the complete luck of SICK66, Cale found an $800 bag of "P" right outside my front door. SERIOUS MAN WE COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!! Belindalee and Sarah even checked our bank accounts because they didn't believe that we found it. So I tell ya, a bag of Meth cures any hard feelings up real fast... We had the best show of our short SICK66 career and 4 days later went to bed happy... (I think you can even find an old sleepless post about it somewhere....)..

What the fuck was this about again?... oh yeah the commercial staring Johnny Von Kobra and Leith's sexy hands...
So for anyone that wants to see the commercial then come along to his memorial gig at The Adelaide on 17th OCTOBER where we will screen it.
And Lastly, The girls were going out to see HEAD LIKE A HOLE last weekend and just as they were walking out the door, Johnny's commercial came on TV. Very fucking freaky. Leave it to Johnny to pull that off.

Ok, I'm done now.

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Re: The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby A-DAMN SICK » Thu Sep 17, 2009 10:39 am

A-DAMN SICK wrote: Ok, I'm done now.


Oops sorry, no I'm not.
Here is a video of our last show.
Johnny on drums.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foz1QZbGIJ8

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Re: The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby A-DAMN SICK » Fri Sep 18, 2009 4:36 pm

A-DAMN SICK wrote: I once drove to Wanganui to pick up Johnny


Let me correct myself...

I once drove to WHANGANUI to pick up Johnny...

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Re: The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby A-DAMN SICK » Sat Oct 03, 2009 8:47 pm

Image

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Re: The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby snuff » Sun Oct 04, 2009 7:15 am

Are Reptilian Future Cops the Matt Hunt / Rob Spleen effort from back when?
I guess you really need to ask yourself... What Would Graeme Do?

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Re: The Johnny Von Kobra Memorial Thread

Postby mark tyler » Sun Oct 04, 2009 6:00 pm

A-DAMN SICK wrote:
fingers wrote:i'm the hands adam! those are my slightly feminine hands! they didnt wanna use his because of his lower arm tattoos and shit.


HAHA That wasn't me BUT I was wondering who's sexy hands were in that commercial... Man you could be a fucking hand model. Next time I see you at The Adelaide I might ask you to pose for me...

I once drove to Wanganui to pick up Johnny and drive him back down to Welly. He sat me down in that restaurant, tucked me in, fed me a massive feed then on the drive home we smoked pot and talked about all the sexually deviant things we would do to all the waitresses. We then pulled into Wellington, went to The Hong Kong BBQ ate jellyfish and ducks feet, yeah yeah I know that sound gross but it was actually very fucking tasty. We only ordered it cause we wanted some street cred among the chinese owners. They wouldn't let us order it and we insisted. They continued to laugh and say no so Johnny got staunch (as a joke but played it off like he was serious) and said real loud, "BRING US SOME FUCKEN JELLYFISH AND FEET...NOW!!!" The women looked surprised then at me and I said "GO ON GET... ME SO HUUUNGRY"
I thought we were gonna get kicked out but she just smiled uncomfortably and went and got us a massive plate of Jelly Fish and Ducks feet. We chowed down then went and played a SICK66 gig at The Adelaide. Just as we were tuning up me and Johnny looked at each other real weird and both started turning green. I apologized to the audience in advance and explained me and Johnny just ate some feet and I think we're about to start tripping... We played everything in half time until Cale got fucked off with us (wasn't hard really, he was always getting fucked off with us) then we all just stopped playing and said fuck this shit and just walked off stage. We left that show, wasted, tripping and mad at each other. Mad is an understatement... Cale ditched us both and I ditched Johnny at the bar even though he was gonna stay with me. Jellyfish and feet can do weird things to a man.
The next day we had a big SICK66 show at Bodega with STICKY FILTH and not only did we hate each other but we didn't want to play the show and still felt sick UNTIL like a gift from the heavens above and the complete luck of SICK66, Cale found an $800 bag of "P" right outside my front door. SERIOUS MAN WE COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!! Belindalee and Sarah even checked our bank accounts because they didn't believe that we found it. So I tell ya, a bag of Meth cures any hard feelings up real fast... We had the best show of our short SICK66 career and 4 days later went to bed happy... (I think you can even find an old sleepless post about it somewhere....)..

What the fuck was this about again?... oh yeah the commercial staring Johnny Von Kobra and Leith's sexy hands...
So for anyone that wants to see the commercial then come along to his memorial gig at The Adelaide on 17th OCTOBER where we will screen it.
And Lastly, The girls were going out to see HEAD LIKE A HOLE last weekend and just as they were walking out the door, Johnny's commercial came on TV. Very fucking freaky. Leave it to Johnny to pull that off.

Ok, I'm done now.



hahahahaha, great story, i love posts like that
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