punkas title for the best joke

All that crap that doesn't fit any of the other forums
muice!
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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby muice! » Tue Apr 21, 2009 8:52 pm

Nixon will win and request the title: ~FUNNY GUY~
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Skatie
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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby Skatie » Tue Apr 21, 2009 9:05 pm

How many punks does it take to change a lightbulb?


None, punks cant change anything!

How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, theyd rather cry in the dark.

How many boneheads does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they hate being enlightened.


How many ska kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

4, 1 to drop it and 3 to say Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up.

How many rancid punx does it take to change a lightbulb?

100. 1 to change the bulb, and 99 to dress the same but completely miss the point.


Please change my title to: Perverted Denimist.

cheers!

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Craig_Bastard
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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby Craig_Bastard » Tue Apr 21, 2009 9:07 pm

Skatie wrote:How many punks does it take to change a lightbulb?


None, punks cant change anything!

How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, theyd rather cry in the dark.

How many boneheads does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they hate being enlightened.


How many ska kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

4, 1 to drop it and 3 to say Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up.

How many rancid punx does it take to change a lightbulb?

100. 1 to change the bulb, and 99 to dress the same but completely miss the point.


Please change my title to: Perverted Denimist.

cheers!


that was me, i forgot to log Sk8 out.
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SHUT UP,
PUT YOUR DENIM ON
AND STAY FREE.

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daggers
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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby daggers » Tue Apr 21, 2009 9:22 pm

what's the difference between a picture of jesus and jesus himself

it only takes one nail to hang the picture
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crackheavy
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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby crackheavy » Tue Apr 21, 2009 9:37 pm

whats the leading cause of pedophilia?




Sexy kids

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Huey
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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby Huey » Tue Apr 21, 2009 9:39 pm

Why did the chicken cross the road?



To get to the other side.
Because he's the hero Punkas deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we'll hunt him because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A dark knight

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David xvx Ludd
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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby David xvx Ludd » Tue Apr 21, 2009 9:41 pm

Skatie wrote:How many rancid punx does it take to change a lightbulb?

100. 1 to change the bulb, and 99 to dress the same but completely miss the point.


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xDavex
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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby xDavex » Tue Apr 21, 2009 9:47 pm

why did the dead baby cross the road?





because it was stapled to the chicken.
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Dennis from Accounts
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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby Dennis from Accounts » Tue Apr 21, 2009 9:48 pm

Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn?



She had mittens!

BAHA HAHAHA

just chuck my title up as 'got pancreas?' thx guys
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Adam The Muss
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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby Adam The Muss » Tue Apr 21, 2009 9:49 pm

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?




Gang rape
cool guy69 wrote:last nite my nutter of A flat mate was in the kitchen making a feed,what ever i couldnt give a crap but tthe bloody doofus not only leaves the element on but he wedged two knives in there wtf?? luckily i was therre to run them under cold water , talk about A bloody fire hazard. i had to wipe the bench down after he had spilled herbs all over it as well Lol ah well thats flat life for u eh

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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby Matt » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:04 pm

Okay, maybe the thread title should've read "the best joke we haven't heard before"...

Which unfortunately means daggers' crap Jesus joke is the frontrunner for me...

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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby chelsea » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:10 pm

Why do women get periods?

'Cause they deserve it.

I have no ideas for a title, I just really wanted to tell that joke.

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Phlegethon
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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby Phlegethon » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:13 pm

A Neutron walks into the bar and asks the barkeep how much for a drink, to which the barkeep replies: "for you mate, no charge!"
Last edited by Phlegethon on Wed Apr 22, 2009 12:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

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cool guy69
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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby cool guy69 » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:25 pm

there a soccor ball on the ground,a man runs up to the soccor ball,he goes to kick the ball.....but the ball dissapear!!then a soccor ball come up behind him and kicks the man!!hahaahahaaaaaha
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Dennis from Accounts
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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby Dennis from Accounts » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:26 pm

fuck
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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby Huey » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:34 pm

More like: UNCOOL GAY 32

really gay in RL etc.

AMIRITE?
Last edited by Huey on Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Because he's the hero Punkas deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we'll hunt him because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A dark knight

Mi amore
Don't you know
My love I want you so
Sugar
You make my soul complete
Rapture tastes so sweet

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Dennis from Accounts
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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby Dennis from Accounts » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:34 pm

you already have a title, leave the thread
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xDavex
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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby xDavex » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:35 pm

cool guy69 wrote:there a soccor ball on the ground,a man runs up to the soccor ball,he goes to kick the ball.....but the ball dissapear!!then a soccor ball come up behind him and kicks the man!!hahaahahaaaaaha



christ i lol'd.
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Adam The Muss
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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby Adam The Muss » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:39 pm

I chuckled.. but it was kind of an embarrassed I should be more mature than this kind of chuckle
cool guy69 wrote:last nite my nutter of A flat mate was in the kitchen making a feed,what ever i couldnt give a crap but tthe bloody doofus not only leaves the element on but he wedged two knives in there wtf?? luckily i was therre to run them under cold water , talk about A bloody fire hazard. i had to wipe the bench down after he had spilled herbs all over it as well Lol ah well thats flat life for u eh

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yellowbus
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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby yellowbus » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:45 pm

xDavex wrote:
cool guy69 wrote:there a soccor ball on the ground,a man runs up to the soccor ball,he goes to kick the ball.....but the ball dissapear!!then a soccor ball come up behind him and kicks the man!!hahaahahaaaaaha



christ i lol'd.


I choked on what I was eating

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Fearful_Jesuit
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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby Fearful_Jesuit » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:46 pm

What's red and invisible?



No tomatoes.

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Danny Morrissey
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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby Danny Morrissey » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:46 pm

What's the difference between Jam and Marmalade?













You can't Marmalade your dick in your girlfriends ass.
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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby robb dogg » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:51 pm

thats my joke cock

two guys are in a bar and they dont know each other but they're hanging out and shit. the place is full of women who are all fairly attractive and having a good time, dancing and that, sweats dripping off the walls. one guy goes to the other ' you know what bud, i could have any girl in this bar.' and the other guy goes ' how's that?' and the other guy goes ' im a rapist.'

thread over.
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Danny Morrissey
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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby Danny Morrissey » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:53 pm

haha that's not your joke that was Friday.
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hiv-positive
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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby hiv-positive » Tue Apr 21, 2009 11:18 pm

My wife asked me for a rape alarm, so early this morning I duct-taped her mouth and proceeded to savagely fuck her in the arse. When I was finished, I leaned over and gently whispered in her ear "time to wake up, darling".

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dclxvi
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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby dclxvi » Tue Apr 21, 2009 11:28 pm

q: why do nine out of ten rapes go unreported?

a: because most bitches love that shit
Kerry wrote:Then at an old age, the neighbour's dog thought it would be crakup to maul him and he died so we chucked him up in the ground.


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Sasquatch
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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby Sasquatch » Tue Apr 21, 2009 11:29 pm

what's small, green and triangular?





a small green triangle.
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JohnnyCakes
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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby JohnnyCakes » Tue Apr 21, 2009 11:45 pm

Q: How long does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?

A: I dunno I was too busy wanking to count



I think Leith told me that one
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crackheavy
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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby crackheavy » Wed Apr 22, 2009 12:56 am

q. Watcha do when an epileptic takes a bath?

a. Throw in your dirty laundry.

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, face all covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelt the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to piss off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in.
OK, follow me, he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a huge forest.
Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him tongues hanging out for blood.
"Do you see that large oak tree over there?" he asked. "YES, YES, YES!!!!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
"Good!" said the first bat, "Because I fucking didn't"

another version

Three vampire bats live in a cave surrounded by three castles. One night, the bats bet on who can drink the most blood.
The first bat comes home with blood dripping off his fangs. He says, "See that castle over there? I drank the blood of three people."
The second bat returns with blood around his mouth. He says, "See that castle over there? I drank the blood of five people."
The third bat comes back covered in blood. He says, "See that castle over there?" The other bats nod. "Well," says the third bat, "I didn't."
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Rob Anybody
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Re: free punkas title for who tells the best joke to matt and i

Postby Rob Anybody » Wed Apr 22, 2009 8:42 am

what do you call an epileptic leper in a bath?

instant soup.













im crap at jokes sorry.
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