funny shit thread

All that crap that doesn't fit any of the other forums
Kerry
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Re: funny shit thread

Postby Kerry » Thu Aug 03, 2017 1:12 am

Rob wrote:you are down a dead end street with no hope of every doing anything

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bruce wayne
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Re: funny shit thread

Postby bruce wayne » Thu Aug 03, 2017 7:27 am

Kerry wrote:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEnHfqXWkcU

he looks like he's having heroine withdrawl coming on in every video

fuck fuck fuck where's the smack i need a hit now now now

Kerry
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Re: funny shit thread

Postby Kerry » Thu Aug 17, 2017 7:41 pm

Rob wrote:you are down a dead end street with no hope of every doing anything

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Re: funny shit thread

Postby Kerry » Tue Aug 29, 2017 11:34 pm

Rob wrote:you are down a dead end street with no hope of every doing anything

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Dead Kid
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Re: funny shit thread

Postby Dead Kid » Sun Sep 03, 2017 10:36 am

General Mutante wrote:"So you think you're floating in mint sauce son"

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Dead Kid
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Re: funny shit thread

Postby Dead Kid » Tue Sep 05, 2017 1:29 pm

http://the-grievances.blogspot.co.nz/20 ... -grip.html
Glue falls into three categories...the harmless sloppy goo kids use to affix sparkles to their art work...and also find delicious....the slightly more serious glue stick, used by both children and adults....for much the same purpose...and the the adults only 'super glue'....a deadly chemical concoction that can be used, apparently, for anything, including being inhaled as an addictive, muscular and nervous system destroying substance.

Excluding this misuse, the average adult has recourse to use a super glue approximately once every three years...so it's off to the super market to purchase a tiny tube of arrestingly named Tarzan's Grip....featuring an illustration of the titular character forcing a lion's jaws open...presumably to put a couple of drops in there to then fuse them shut forever...which seems a tad severe...not to mention illegal...but does convincingly illustrate the power of what is inferred as his preferred brand of adhesive...why and how a wild man in the jungle has access to a super glue is not really explained.

But no matter, because this stuff is apparently so powerful that with three drops you could stick an elephant to a car, and then stick the car on the bottom of a battle ship...which you could then stick to the side of a Boeing 747...if that's what you wanted...it also has the magical property of being able to adhere any material upon the earth to any other...wood, plastic, metal, ceramic...if it exists...Tarzan's Grip will fuse it to something else...giving one a Dr Frankenstein-like dominion over inanimate objects...of unholy joining...like sticking a sewing machine to an accordion...or a radiator to a television set.

But the majority of users are not pray to this sort of megalomania...instead just wanting to fix that pesky broken lampshade...or that chipped bit of tile above the light switch... innocuous, non-vital tasks...quite a world away from needing to fuse a lion's jaws shut.

The nozzle is designed in such a way that the slightest squeeze will immediately release about fifteen times the amount of the liquid necessary...mostly on the fingers...on which it hardens instantly...leaving one to complete the rest of delicate operation as though wearing nail varnish finger gloves...which is sort of like trying to sew wearing a pair of mittens...thus ensuring that great dollops of the stuff go everywhere except to their intended destination...leaving all the surrounding surfaces all speckled and smeared like the scene of some ghastly sex crime...but you eventually 'get it in'...so to speak...and hold the injured surfaces together for a few seconds...and then watch as they just ping open again.

Frustrated, you leave the task at hand for a few days, and recuperate, with those weird varnished fingertips immune to any solvent...and then return to the tube...where you discover that the only thing Tarzan's Grip is truly capable of welding is the cap to the nozzle...and it has been estimated that fifteen percent of the earth's land fill is comprised solely of once-used, and useless, tubes of Tarzan's Grip.

:lol: :lol: :lol: I just wanted to copy and paste some highlights, but there's gold in every paragraph.
General Mutante wrote:"So you think you're floating in mint sauce son"

Kerry
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Re: funny shit thread

Postby Kerry » Fri Sep 08, 2017 8:08 pm

EX BLACK SABBATH TOUR BUS! 1984 DAF 8.2 LITRE DIESEL 38 FOOT COACH.. MAY SWAP??
https://www.gumtree.com/p/other-cars/ex ... ialbuttons

Willing to swap for something Interesting Car Van or Caravan?? But please NO Vectra's / Mondeo's
Rob wrote:you are down a dead end street with no hope of every doing anything

Dubpunker
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Re: funny shit thread

Postby Dubpunker » Mon Sep 18, 2017 12:13 am

old but gold.

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Re: funny shit thread

Postby Dubpunker » Sun Sep 24, 2017 11:38 am


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Re: funny shit thread

Postby Dubpunker » Thu Oct 12, 2017 9:56 pm


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No Way Out Records
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Re: funny shit thread

Postby No Way Out Records » Thu Oct 12, 2017 10:08 pm

That was pretty awesome

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9seconds
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Re: funny shit thread

Postby 9seconds » Sun Oct 15, 2017 11:53 am

i saw this in reverse somewhere, was pretty sweet
Image
"Look how happy he is"

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No Way Out Records
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Re: funny shit thread

Postby No Way Out Records » Sun Oct 15, 2017 1:01 pm

yeah.. I think the original was the reverse one.. nut then again my Russian is non-existant.

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Drax
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Re: funny shit thread

Postby Drax » Wed Oct 18, 2017 10:29 pm



And then the top suggested video over to the right is this: Image

Need to watch it now. Like, what do you need to do? Get closer and blast away while you're pretty much leaning over the hood? Bigger gun? Bigger bullets? Shoot at it for fuckin ages?

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9seconds
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Re: funny shit thread

Postby 9seconds » Thu Oct 19, 2017 3:37 pm

bro, just punch thru it
Image
"Look how happy he is"

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Max
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Re: funny shit thread

Postby Max » Thu Oct 19, 2017 7:35 pm

9seconds wrote:i saw this in reverse somewhere, was pretty sweet


This is the original, where events are shown in reverse. The lyrics are forwards in both versions.


The song has a Russian wikipedia article and the lyrics are available if you want to try google translate on it. Something about a woman telling her criminal boyfriend to tattoo her eyebrows. Russia is kind of insane.

https://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/%D0%9A%D0%BE%D0%BB%D1%8C%D1%89%D0%B8%D0%BA_(%D0%BF%D0%B5%D1%81%D0%BD%D1%8F)
https://genius.com/Leningrad-kolshik-lyrics

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Dead Kid
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Re: funny shit thread

Postby Dead Kid » Sat Oct 21, 2017 4:29 pm

Image
General Mutante wrote:"So you think you're floating in mint sauce son"

Dubpunker
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Re: funny shit thread

Postby Dubpunker » Sun Oct 22, 2017 3:27 am



haha

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Re: funny shit thread

Postby Dubpunker » Sun Nov 12, 2017 7:15 am

Image

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Dead Kid
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Re: funny shit thread

Postby Dead Kid » Sat Nov 18, 2017 6:52 pm

EA's comment on Reddit which broke the record for the most downvotes 20 times over appears on Swedish national TV. What a time to be alive:

Image
General Mutante wrote:"So you think you're floating in mint sauce son"

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Dead Kid
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Re: funny shit thread

Postby Dead Kid » Sat Nov 25, 2017 10:24 am

Image
General Mutante wrote:"So you think you're floating in mint sauce son"

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the croc
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Re: funny shit thread

Postby the croc » Sat Dec 09, 2017 9:18 pm

There's more to life than thrash
So let's get really smashed
and do the heavy head dance

www.facebook.com/paekakpunkshow

Kerry
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Re: funny shit thread

Postby Kerry » Fri Dec 22, 2017 11:56 pm

Peak Australia

Rob wrote:you are down a dead end street with no hope of every doing anything

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Dead Kid
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Re: funny shit thread

Postby Dead Kid » Fri Jan 19, 2018 1:12 pm

General Mutante wrote:"So you think you're floating in mint sauce son"

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Re: funny shit thread

Postby Dubpunker » Fri Jan 26, 2018 4:39 am


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Re: funny shit thread

Postby Dubpunker » Fri Jan 26, 2018 4:42 am

Dead Kid wrote:Taranaki Love - Tupac & Dr Dre parody


:lol: :thumbup:

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Re: funny shit thread

Postby Dubpunker » Mon Jan 29, 2018 3:15 am


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Re: funny shit thread

Postby Dubpunker » Tue Jan 30, 2018 7:59 am

It´s monday...

Image

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Dead Kid
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Re: funny shit thread

Postby Dead Kid » Thu Feb 22, 2018 6:58 am

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michel_Lotito
He was awarded a brass plaque by the Guinness Book to commemorate his abilities. He consumed it as well.

Naturally :lol:
General Mutante wrote:"So you think you're floating in mint sauce son"

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Dead Kid
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Re: funny shit thread

Postby Dead Kid » Mon Feb 26, 2018 9:02 pm

General Mutante wrote:"So you think you're floating in mint sauce son"


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