Dude having a wank in the cubicle next to me today.

[daggers]

my dog wee'd on the floor in the kitchen today

[xSUSPECTx]

i hate toilets, gimme a spade and a hidden spot of dirt any day.

ive cut the sleeves off my shirt to wipe in mickey dees when there was no tp.

[erinfection]

A dude I know in New Plymouth climbed Paritutu, then was busting to have a shit. Shat off the side of Paritutu, was halfway through when a family turned up with young children on an outing.

[erinfection]

Actually, if I was wanking off in a toilet cubicle I would be really offended if someone took a shit in the stall next to me.

[CowzOr]

My boss used to go and smash one out when I worked in a bakery. He'd always disappear about 5am for 15 minutes into the toilet and it's be all jizz bubbley in the water after he'd been in there.

Was in a queue in an airport toilet block once (just off the plane, big line up). Someone in a cubicle flushed, din't come out of the stall, and brown water started coming out from under the cubicle door and heading straight for the line of people waiting .. everyone kept edging back so they wouldn't lose their place in line but the brown shitty piss water kept coming and shortly there was a conga line of people scrambling to get out of the toielts before they got swept away

[kimura]

my dog wee'd on the floor in the kitchen today

So thanks to provide it

[refusing]

didnt read the thread but on the same topic i had a bad ass mast on a bus to akl the other day

shit was dope



10/10

[martyrdamn]

i had a bad ass mast on a bus to akl the other day

i had a bad ass mast on a bus

i had a bad ass mast

a bad ass mast

ass mast

QUEER.

[sam-antha]

[kimura]

It would actually be worse if you did a shit in the long haul bus toilet haha.

A few years back I was on a bus to welly and while we stopped at a rest point someone must of droped a bomb, the bus driver actually demanded that the person own up...but no one did.

[Red_switch]

Last night (Norway time) I dreamt that I was in a public toilet taking a shit and no matter how much I wiped my ass, it was still covered in shit. It was like perpetual ass wiping. Made worse by the fact that I was in a major hurry to get somewhere and my mates kept asking how long I'd be. Meanwhile I'm sitting on the shitter shitting myself coz there seems to be an endless amount of shit round my ring and a finite amount of shitter paper.

[Craig_Bastard]

6x Shits in one post. nice work!

[Window Licker]

i was at this party with this guy i'd just started hooking up with in ireland, and we found some fucking nice sticky golden hash, so rolled up and started our journey home. found an abandoned house and tried to break in with no success, so went round the back and to check out the over grown garden. needed to piss so popped a squat in this shrubbery, holding onto a branch for leverage (was shitfaced as). branch broke mid stream, and i fell backwards, covering myself in weeze. hoping my hookup wouldnt notice the piss all over me we carried on towards home, sidetracking down bushy path to the river. stood in a fucking massive pile of stinkin rotten dogshite. destroyed my high-tops in one fowl blow, got all over my legs, socks and trousers. took off my socks n sneakers and set them alight. carried on back to my house barefoot, covered in shit and piss. got home and the guy said 'ummm i'll be right back i'll just got get some smokes n crisps'. i was thinking yeah yeah yeah, nice out buddy, and fair enough, im pretty fucking revolting right now. but he did come back and we ended up together for 2 years.
the end.

[toothbrush]

its real hard to wank in a cubicle when there is someone farting real loud or, even worse, listening in. instant chub killer.

[Marrow]

^ you burnt your shoes because you got dog shit on them?

[Window Licker]

they were all fucked up anyways, ripped to shit, being held together by duct tape, and it was HEAPS of shit. and they didnt actually burn very well. the whole thing was one epic fail after another.

[Marrow]

resulting in a decent story. well worth it then

[Barrel Of Death]

Duct tape up an asshole thats busting and have it shit violently

[Red_switch]

^ I LOL'd

[garyasfulla]

Last night (Norway time) I dreamt that I was in a public toilet taking a shit and no matter how much I wiped my ass, it was still covered in shit. It was like perpetual ass wiping. Made worse by the fact that I was in a major hurry to get somewhere and my mates kept asking how long I'd be. Meanwhile I'm sitting on the shitter shitting myself coz there seems to be an endless amount of shit round my ring and a finite amount of shitter paper.

Worse time - had a dream that I needed to take a shit real bad, Then dreamt I shat my pants on a couch while trying to sleep, then dreamt i woke up and took a shit in the washing machine, then woke up and realised I was only dreaming the first one. Beers as.

[xSUSPECTx]

hahahahaha

[fuzz]

not on my watch.

[Fiction & Falsehood]

bump for lol

[buckton]

sweet shitting/wanking thread.

[donvito]

once i was taking a shit in the welly library toilets, and there was some 'if you want a good time' type shit with a phone number on the wall, i was bored and had just topped up so i sent the dude a text, thinking it wouyld be good for a laugh, something like 'sup man, getting lots of cock?' dude replys instantly 'what floor are you on? im on my way up'

never shat so fast in my life.

i laughed out loud so hard, well done.

[Fiction & Falsehood]

one other time i was parked up at a popular session spot, (beach road, matua) reading a book, i was living off mates couches and shit, so i had driven there to kinda get outta peoples hair you know, and anyway im reading away and i see this maori dude in a beanie with a bushy moustache pop his head around the corner of the toilet block, he looked kinda like cheech marin or billy T, he just popped his head around real fast like he didnt think he would be seen, that was weird and a wee bit dodgy, oh well...
a few mins later he walks out from the toilet block along the path in front of where im parked, and hes whistling, 'nonchalantly' but the most forced way possible, the tuneless 'tune' that goes 'doot de doo, doot de doo' he gets past my car and behind a tree and immediately walks back still doing this unbelievably awful casual act, im just staring at him now going wtf?....
he stops suddenly and looks over at me doing the worst 'oh i didnt see you there!' look ive ever seen, and hurries over to the car as if im an old pal...
i think 'here we go', fully expecting him to try and sell me a shit tinny, which i didnt want, and thats what it seemed like when he said "got any skins bro?"
"nah", i sez, "dont smoke, but il just have a look in my glovebox"(i had given up for a while at this stage)
upon opening the glovebox a loose stack of various condoms that a girl i had been fucking had scored from the STD clinic came tumbling out(fuck i hated that glovebox), i heard a sharp intake of breath, and sensed his excitement as he said:

"bro, do you wanna blowjob?"

i was taken completely by surprise, i had not expected anything of the kind, and i stammered "uh no thanx man"
look of fear crossed his face and skulked away quicker than i got out of the library toilets in the other story, i was thoroughly buzzed out and left too, i saw him drive off and later saw his car at a house that i had actually seen on trademe advertising for 'gay friendly' flatmates a few days before, i went to a friends house and told her and her boyfriend, he actually got mad about it and was saying "im sorry you had that happen to you"
which was odd cos it didnt make me angry, just fucking weirded out, it is pretty gross tho, and that kinda shit does go some way to justifying why so many cunts hate homos, what struck me was how scared he became in an instant, the dude didnt seem very bright either... all in all, euack.

[donvito]

oh my lol

hitching to tauranga this dude picked me up south african hiker 3 quarter camo pants all pockets FULL hiking boots hairy legs jesus anyway he asked me if ive ever been sucked off by a bloke, when i said no he asked if i wanted to be sucked off by a bloke and i burst into laughter and he got so upset i asked to get out of his car as soon as we got to the nearest town and he let me out.

cool story.

[Cosmo Kramer]

hat glovebox), i heard a sharp intake of breath, and sensed his excitement as he said:

"bro, do you wanna blowjob?"

i was taken completely by surprise, i had not expected anything of the kind, and i stammered "uh no thanx man"

wait....so you thought about it first? like you considered it?

because from what you said...you said "um" first

[Fiction & Falsehood]

to tell the truth i missed out the part where he raped me in every hole, even my ears, and even tho it hurt and i was crying i secretly started to enjoy it and that made it even worse and now youve brought it all back again!

why did you have tyo keep digging chris?
why couldnt you just leave well enough alone?
im gunna have to punish myself for being a dirty homo by nailing my dick to a block of wood, again !!!

[donvito]

to tell the truth i missed out the part where he raped me in every hole, even my ears, and even tho it hurt and i was crying i secretly started to enjoy it and that made it even worse and now youve brought it all back again!

why did you have tyo keep digging chris?
why couldnt you just leave well enough alone?
im gunna have to punish myself for being a dirty homo by nailing my dick to a block of wood, again !!!

i laughed so hard out loud i choked