Osama-Hunter ‘As Normal As You and I,’ Family Says

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the croc
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Osama-Hunter ‘As Normal As You and I,’ Family Says

Postby the croc » Fri Jun 18, 2010 12:21 pm

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Wannabe terrorist-hunter Gary Brooks Faulkner is “not insane; he’s not psychotic; he’s as normal as you and I,” his brother, Dr. Scott Faulkner, insists. But just in case, Pakistani authorities are asking a psychologist to evaluate the 50 year-old, part-time construction worker, arrested yesterday on his one-man mission to kill Osama Bin Laden.

“Gary Faulkner was born in California, and his family moved to Fort Collins [Colorado] in 1968. He spent several years in Central and South America, building schools and churches. He traveled with a Bible and a devout belief that he needed to exact revenge for 9/11,” the Denver Post reports.

“My brother understood God has got his back,” Scott Faulkner tells the paper.

Faulkner — who never has served in the military — has been arrested several times in Colorado over the years, according to Colorado Bureau of Investigation records. He served prison sentences in Cañon City at least twice, in 1981 and 1986, on burglary and larceny convictions, according to CBI records….

This was Faulkner’s third revenge mission. The Pakistani police seized the 40-inch sword, Chinese pistol, dagger, and night-vision goggles he planned to use to stalk Bin Laden in one of his likely hiding grounds. Faulkner was also carrying “Christian literature and a small amount of hashish,” according to the Associated Press.

“It was a logical plan,” Scott Faulkner says. “I felt he had a good chance.”

With his “long, bushy beard and passable language skills, Faulkner was able to get weapons and move around the countryside with relative ease,” the Post notes. According to his brother, “it’s not surprising that he purchased a sword.”

“It’s Pakistan,” Scott Faulkner said. “Many people there have swords.”


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Best of luck to this crazy fucker 8)
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CowzOr
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Re: Osama-Hunter ‘As Normal As You and I,’ Family Says

Postby CowzOr » Fri Jun 18, 2010 2:39 pm

Could've saved himself a plane-ticket and just driven to the CIA
general wrote:one alternative to democracy is listening to a lunatic like blair ranting out about "real freedom" like an incoherent brain-damaged drunk.

cool guy69 wrote:mods please sticky this thread

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Re: Osama-Hunter ‘As Normal As You and I,’ Family Says

Postby fuzz » Fri Jun 18, 2010 3:43 pm

Pakistani police totally just saved this dude's life hahaha. Oh well, bless his craziness.

Lol @ hashish though. Dude sounds hilarious.

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the croc
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Re: Osama-Hunter ‘As Normal As You and I,’ Family Says

Postby the croc » Fri Jun 18, 2010 5:07 pm

fuzz wrote:Lol @ hashish though. Dude sounds hilarious.


Yeah I just imagine him as a Tommy Chong type character running around with a bunch of weapons, high as fuck and confusing the hell out of all the locals.
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Re: Osama-Hunter ‘As Normal As You and I,’ Family Says

Postby PertHJ » Fri Jun 18, 2010 6:38 pm

"long, bushy beard and passable language skills, Faulkner was able to get weapons and move around the countryside with relative ease,”


All you need to be persecuted in the US, so the opposite follows right?
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Re: Osama-Hunter ‘As Normal As You and I,’ Family Says

Postby redman » Sun Jun 20, 2010 7:20 pm

I personaly think this is an awesome story, its just a shame the dudes so brainwashed. he should totally just hashassinate george bush instead.


lol. hashassin

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Dan Ashcroft
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Re: Osama-Hunter ‘As Normal As You and I,’ Family Says

Postby Dan Ashcroft » Sun Jun 20, 2010 8:25 pm

This is undoubtedly my feelgood story of the year so far.
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Re: Osama-Hunter ‘As Normal As You and I,’ Family Says

Postby cirE » Sun Jun 20, 2010 8:26 pm

redman wrote:lol. hashassin

rofl
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Re: Osama-Hunter ‘As Normal As You and I,’ Family Says

Postby The Mindset » Wed Jun 23, 2010 1:47 pm

“It was a logical plan,”
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Re: Osama-Hunter ‘As Normal As You and I,’ Family Says

Postby InkedScot » Wed Jun 23, 2010 2:32 pm

CowzOr wrote:Could've saved himself a plane-ticket and just driven to the CIA
the CIA doesn't hire crazy ass hippies
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[Tim]
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Re: Osama-Hunter ‘As Normal As You and I,’ Family Says

Postby [Tim] » Wed Jun 23, 2010 3:03 pm

That why you shaved your head? Your shorts are still a dead giveaway tho man.

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Re: Osama-Hunter ‘As Normal As You and I,’ Family Says

Postby CowzOr » Thu Jun 24, 2010 9:54 pm

InkedScot wrote:
CowzOr wrote:Could've saved himself a plane-ticket and just driven to the CIA
the CIA doesn't hire crazy ass hippies


I was implying that the CIA was behind it all, so he could just go after them instead of the person who got the blame
general wrote:one alternative to democracy is listening to a lunatic like blair ranting out about "real freedom" like an incoherent brain-damaged drunk.

cool guy69 wrote:mods please sticky this thread

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Re: Osama-Hunter ‘As Normal As You and I,’ Family Says

Postby ZPG » Fri Jun 25, 2010 12:48 pm

[Tim] wrote:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hashshashin

awesome
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