Wild Zero (movie)

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Matt
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Wild Zero (movie)

Postby Matt » Sun Mar 14, 2004 10:21 pm

There is a breed of film that get the distinction of being "so bad they're good". These are films that any clear-thinking person will identify as being lousy, but they are so ignorant of their own utter suckiness that they become unitentionally funny. This has led to another type of film - one that DELIBERATELY tries to be "so bad it's good". Obviously, this is almost universally a BAD IDEA. Kinda like General Custer deciding, "These Indians look like a bunch of pussies, we can take 'em easy".

Well, Wild Zero is a deliberately trashy, b-grade pile of silly, frivilous crap. And it is absolutely brilliant.

Our hero goes by the extremely subtle name of "Ace" (last name, "Whole"?), a leather-jacketed, eternally optimistic kid in love with rock 'n' roll and Japan's answer to The Ramones - Guitar Wolf. As for the three-piece band, they play themselves in the movie, although wisely are only supporting characters, due to an ability to act probably on a par with Christopher Reeves' ability to rap.

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The zombie World Limbo Championships entered the crucial finals stage

Ace accidentally blunders into an argument between Guitar Wolf and club owner "Captain" (were these character names just pulled out of a hat or something?), bursting in after overhearing Captain blasphemously say that, "Rock 'n' roll is over". Despite a ferocious rebuttal of "Rock 'n' roll will never die!!!", Ace is put down with one punch, guns go off, and a random bystander who chose that moment to walk past the open doorway, gets his head blown to pieces. Which nobody gives a flying fuck about.

And with good reason. A LOT of heads blow up in this movie, even to the point that at one stage, a single bullet manages to inexplicably blow up three heads. It is like Lee Harvey Oswald taking on zombies. No police ever show up, but frankly, we don't care. This is a weird parallel universe where the main weapon against invaders from outer space and the living dead...is rock music.

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Roadtripping with Elton John was fun, but had its disadvantages

Guitar Wolf leave Captain minus a couple of fingers, and he swears revenge, making him pretty much the villain of the film. Now, I think I need to spare a couple of sentences for our resident ship commander. To say he has unfortunate dress sense is a bit like saying George W. Bush has questionable intelligence. His obviously-fake hair changes colours throughout the movie, and he has a prediliction for lace-up shorts that are so ridiculously tight he probably needs exploratory surgery to retrieve them each night. Errr, I mean Captain, not George.

Meanwhile, Ace heads on to the next Guitar Wolf show, but makes the mistake of passing through a small town that has been subjected to a recent meteorite shower...which has that tried-and-true side effect of bringing everyone back from the dead. Even though it isn't clear how the hell they all died in the first place. But who cares?

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Andre Agassi was excited about his comeback even though his old tennis gear now cut off his circulation and his toupee looked like a dead animal

The film does fall into a bit of a lull here, as we are weighed down by a sequence of character introductions, but the payback - with more interest than your credit card after your little brother used it to surf those web sites - comes in the final stanza when the guns come out and the zombies (and spaceships) take on the might of rock 'n' roll. Although in saying that, the zombies are a wee bit crap. They're like undead city council workers: they only attack when they feel like it, and take prolonged breaks, preferring instead to just mill about...and in one odd moment, give directions.

The checklist of sights in the movie is almost dizzying. We see swords inside guitars, big guns, small guns, zombies slain by laser guitar picks, a naked gun-toting chick blasting walking corpses from her shower, cars blown up by a single bullet when the shooter doesn't even look, zombies making out, rocket launchers, butterfly knives, and every man and his leather-jacketed dog screaming "ROCK 'N' ROOOOLLLL!!" at every opportunity.

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"Hey, I ordered the Chinese - this is Japanese!"

When Ace doubts himself, Guitar Wolf is there to strike a rock star pose and shout, "ACE! ROCK 'N' ROLL HAS NO BOUNDARIES! DOOO IITTTTT!!!". Guitar Wolf strikes poses a lot, you see. When he leaps out of the third storey of an exploding building, he manages to still hit a ringing guitar chord amidst a shower of glass and fire. He pauses to tune a string in the middle of a gun battle. And most of all, he never stands with his feet any less than about four feet apart.

Wild Zero builds to a glorious conclusion and is just one of those movies that celebrates sheer fun. It has no pretensions of high art, it just goes out to have a fucking good time and succeeds in spectacular fashion, complete with an awesome soundtrack. Will Ace and his sweetheart Tobio overcome their problems? Will Guitar Wolf stop the UFO invasion? Will Captain ever be able to breathe properly in those shorts?

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Although Lisa had let Captain get to second base with her, she still wasn't fond of the pet name he had chosen for her

Just when I thought they don't make movies like this anymore, Wild Zero proves that they do, and better than ever. Grab a bunch of mates, turn on the drinking game on the DVD (a brilliant addition!) and enjoy one of the greatest cult movies ever. ROCK 'N' ROOOOOLLLLLLL!!!

xCaptainx
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Re: Wild Zero (movie)

Postby xCaptainx » Sun Mar 14, 2004 10:28 pm

Matt wrote:Ace accidentally blunders into an argument between Guitar Wolf and club owner "Captain" (were these character names just pulled out of a hat or something?)


Maybe they've been posting on punkas at 4am too, lol.

Future Shock

Postby Future Shock » Sun Mar 30, 2008 3:19 pm

me want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Bernie Galaxy
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Location: Wellington

Postby Bernie Galaxy » Sun Mar 30, 2008 3:34 pm

FUCK ING LOVE THIS MOVIE!

Guitar wolf have to come back over again!

The Rabble Van

Postby The Rabble Van » Tue Apr 01, 2008 2:34 pm

oh yeah


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