Petition to strip Peter Jackson of his knighthood

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Petition to strip Peter Jackson of his knighthood

Postby Lurch » Thu Dec 26, 2013 11:58 pm

How the fuck did he manage to make a worse film than the first one? If I owned any of his back catalogue I would be building a pyre on the lawn right now. Bad Taste, Heavenly Creatures: who cares? All traces of his work must be erased from our collective memories.
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Re: Petition to strip Peter Jackson of his knighthood

Postby FC » Fri Dec 27, 2013 12:18 am

Haven't seen either, but it's about 10 % better on rotten tomatoes. Usually a pretty good indication of how good a film really is in my experience.
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Re: Petition to strip Peter Jackson of his knighthood

Postby Max » Fri Dec 27, 2013 3:00 am

I refuse to use the "Sir" or "Dame" titles in any case. If nobody uses them they will have no effect.

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Re: Petition to strip Peter Jackson of his knighthood

Postby Marrow » Fri Dec 27, 2013 9:00 am

^ I forgot he even had a knighthood because I never hear anyone use it. Anyway, context? Didn't like the second hobbit movie>? or something else?
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Re: Petition to strip Peter Jackson of his knighthood

Postby bruce wayne » Fri Dec 27, 2013 9:18 am

I've never got into lotr but bad taste was one of the funniest nz films ever

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Re: Petition to strip Peter Jackson of his knighthood

Postby Dead Kid » Fri Dec 27, 2013 9:35 am

I enjoyed the latest one, although the story was slow. I looked at the time because not much had happened and was relieved there was still nearly an hour to go. It needed the 3 hours to get anywhere. I expect the next one to pick up the pace a bit.

At least there was no Gollum this time around. In the first Hobbit film he was annoying as fuck. He's turned into Jackson's version of Jar Jar Binks.
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Re: Petition to strip Peter Jackson of his knighthood

Postby Marrow » Fri Dec 27, 2013 11:06 am

I thought that was that Tom Bombadil or whatever, who's only purpose in the books was to show up out of nowhere and sing songs.
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Re: Petition to strip Peter Jackson of his knighthood

Postby FC » Fri Dec 27, 2013 11:15 am

He's cool, because although he could walk straight into Mordor, kick Sauron in the face and tell him to fuck off while he disposed of the ring, he's just like "nah, got shit to do bro, gotta sing some songs and be a fucking lumberjack or whatever"
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Re: Petition to strip Peter Jackson of his knighthood

Postby Lurch » Fri Dec 27, 2013 11:22 am

Where to begin? I'm just going to come out with spoilers everywhere because you actually pay money to go to this film you are a fucking idiot. While the film is definitely faster paced, it somehow manages to include less actual content.

Firstly: Orcs. Because the first film ended in a weird place, this one starts with them till being chased. That is fine. But once they get to Mirkwood then that should be it. Maybe show the odd long shot with scouts following them - they have to know where they end up in order to be able to besiege the mountian in the next film. But all the ridiculous added choreographed battles were fucking naff. The team already have to deal with giant spiders, self centred elves, corrupt men and a motherfucking dragon. It's not like they don't have enough valid problems to work through. I think the justification for these scenes was to give Legolas something to do. Which brings me to point two: I wouldn't have minded a cameo, but inventing a love interest? Fuck off. Especially setting up a love triangle with one of the dwarves - all that poison arrow shit should obviously be cut too.

Then to the dragon. All Bilbo needed was to pinch the shiny rock and chuck on the ring and scarper. Smaug gets riled up by this then flys off to take revenge on Lake Town: the nearest alternative target. Easy. What it did not need was more fucking running through caverns. Oh and there just happened to be giant vats filled to the brim with gold which you could heat up to use as a weapon? You don't think in the hundred years since the fall of the mountain that these wouldn't have simply been added to the rest of the horde? Pretty major failure of logic there guys.

The CGI is terribly overdone: exhibit one being the tubs of molten gold look like they were animated by a 4th form design student. The amount of stuff being chucked in soley to cater to the idiots who have fallen for the 3d gimmick was awful too.

Oh: and did they need to add (back in) another Orc baddy? I had assumed they had rationalised Azog and his son Bolg into one character. I don't know why Bolg wanting revenge for his father's death at Moria wasn't a reasonable motivation, but I was OK with this. But now we have both? Why?

Gandalf's stuff in Dul Guldor was weird too. I'm sure if it was that obvious from that early stage that it was Sauron himself in charge there then the start of LOTR wouldn't have been so casual.

There was more too. I've been trying to forget it. I did however actually quite enjoy the introductory scene in Bree. And Steven Fry. But that was almost it. If I hadn't been sitting in the middle of a row I might have even walked out of it. Never done that with a film before. Absolutely fucking dreadful. If you were lucky there might be half an hour of usable footage for the condensed version that I hope somebody puts together once the final instalment is released.

Oh and did I mention that it has A FUCKING CLIFFHANGER ENDING? All that shit for absolutely no resolution. You couldn't even end it on a high note after defeating the dragon? I mean: it isn't as if you have at least two major pitched battles coming up in the next volume.
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Re: Petition to strip Peter Jackson of his knighthood

Postby FC » Fri Dec 27, 2013 11:23 am

Haha fucking nerd
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Re: Petition to strip Peter Jackson of his knighthood

Postby Adam Van Helsing » Sun Dec 29, 2013 7:36 pm

Lurch wrote:Where to begin? I'm just going to come out with spoilers everywhere because you actually pay money to go to this film you are a fucking idiot. While the film is definitely faster paced, it somehow manages to include less actual content.

Firstly: Orcs. Because the first film ended in a weird place, this one starts with them till being chased. That is fine. But once they get to Mirkwood then that should be it. Maybe show the odd long shot with scouts following them - they have to know where they end up in order to be able to besiege the mountian in the next film. But all the ridiculous added choreographed battles were fucking naff. The team already have to deal with giant spiders, self centred elves, corrupt men and a motherfucking dragon. It's not like they don't have enough valid problems to work through. I think the justification for these scenes was to give Legolas something to do. Which brings me to point two: I wouldn't have minded a cameo, but inventing a love interest? Fuck off. Especially setting up a love triangle with one of the dwarves - all that poison arrow shit should obviously be cut too.

Then to the dragon. All Bilbo needed was to pinch the shiny rock and chuck on the ring and scarper. Smaug gets riled up by this then flys off to take revenge on Lake Town: the nearest alternative target. Easy. What it did not need was more fucking running through caverns. Oh and there just happened to be giant vats filled to the brim with gold which you could heat up to use as a weapon? You don't think in the hundred years since the fall of the mountain that these wouldn't have simply been added to the rest of the horde? Pretty major failure of logic there guys.

The CGI is terribly overdone: exhibit one being the tubs of molten gold look like they were animated by a 4th form design student. The amount of stuff being chucked in soley to cater to the idiots who have fallen for the 3d gimmick was awful too.

Oh: and did they need to add (back in) another Orc baddy? I had assumed they had rationalised Azog and his son Bolg into one character. I don't know why Bolg wanting revenge for his father's death at Moria wasn't a reasonable motivation, but I was OK with this. But now we have both? Why?

Gandalf's stuff in Dul Guldor was weird too. I'm sure if it was that obvious from that early stage that it was Sauron himself in charge there then the start of LOTR wouldn't have been so casual.

There was more too. I've been trying to forget it. I did however actually quite enjoy the introductory scene in Bree. And Steven Fry. But that was almost it. If I hadn't been sitting in the middle of a row I might have even walked out of it. Never done that with a film before. Absolutely fucking dreadful. If you were lucky there might be half an hour of usable footage for the condensed version that I hope somebody puts together once the final instalment is released.

Oh and did I mention that it has A FUCKING CLIFFHANGER ENDING? All that shit for absolutely no resolution. You couldn't even end it on a high note after defeating the dragon? I mean: it isn't as if you have at least two major pitched battles coming up in the next volume.


I actually really liked the Dol Guldor scenes, but other than that, I agree. Absent were all the funny moments, such as the dwarves entering Beorn's home in small groups, much to his on-going exasperation. The flies and spiders chapter is dark comedy in the book, with Bilbo playing tricks on them. Here, it's just a brief horror scene/fight scene. They really spoiled the Smaug moments by stretching it out too long. It was great when it was Smaug and Bilbo, then they had to have the dwarves running in and play tag for about a half hour. Also, don't forget the terrible dwarf/elf romance story. Seriously? They cut Beorn's scene short for some Twilight crap? And yeh, Tauriel/Legolas being pretty much indestructible and their on-going, pointless and repetitive slaughter of thousands of orcs was just tiresome. Orcs, apparently, are now made of play-dough. Honestly, these orcs are so useless that these scenes just sucked. In fact, some of the orc deaths made the audience laugh, they were so ridiculous. If Jackson and Boyens were so willing to cut short and remove the humour in other scenes, why did they decide to make half the film a comedy-horror splatter fest? They're orcs, not zombies! If they're going to stick a million orcs in, at least make them threatening!

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Re: Petition to strip Peter Jackson of his knighthood

Postby Drax » Sat Jan 04, 2014 12:36 pm

At least he hasn't done to his pre-LotR classics what Lucas and Spielberg did to Star Wars, Indiana Jones, E.T., etc.

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Re: Petition to strip Peter Jackson of his knighthood

Postby Max » Sat Jan 04, 2014 3:42 pm

Drax wrote:At least he hasn't done to his pre-LotR classics what Lucas and Spielberg did to Star Wars, Indiana Jones, E.T., etc.


yeah classic works of literature ruined by the Hollywood treatment...

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Re: Petition to strip Peter Jackson of his knighthood

Postby buckton » Sat Jan 04, 2014 6:10 pm

I much preferred ET as a book, less soppy childhood friendship moments and more lasers.
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Re: Petition to strip Peter Jackson of his knighthood

Postby Drax » Sun Jan 05, 2014 12:28 pm

Max wrote:
Drax wrote:At least he hasn't done to his pre-LotR classics what Lucas and Spielberg did to Star Wars, Indiana Jones, E.T., etc.


yeah classic works of literature ruined by the Hollywood treatment...

Can't tell if you're being ironic or not. You say some pretty spastic shit on here from time to time so I'd assume you are.

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Re: Petition to strip Peter Jackson of his knighthood

Postby Marrow » Sun Jan 05, 2014 5:19 pm

^ Yeah because Indiana Jones was so good as a book, before they went and rebooted it as a shitty film, right?
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Re: Petition to strip Peter Jackson of his knighthood

Postby Drax » Tue Jan 07, 2014 6:03 pm

I'm actually more confused by his after re-reading it a couple times. Max was just talking about the Lord of the Rings movies right? Still don't understand how it relates to what I said...

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Re: Petition to strip Peter Jackson of his knighthood

Postby dave-brown » Tue Jan 07, 2014 8:26 pm

Ive seen him ride a segway from studio to studio, a traveling distance of less than 50 metres, that was pretty funny and also somewhat questionable/rediculous.
Im not his biggest fan but there's definately more important/less deserving 'knights' out there needing of our attention, for instance i would quite happily see Paul holmes racist corpse be stripped of knighthood. Lets be honest it was a cop-out, pity driven knighthood anyhow, 'Oh he's dying of terminal illness, but how will the elder generation survive with out his unfortunate image polluting the television screen, we'd best give him a pat on the head and a biscuit before the old boy carks it'


...... Anyhoo to believe knighthood gives anyone some kind of important status you must be come kind of government loving royalist and should masturbate with a freshly sharpened cheesegrater.
...for the record, ive never witnessed nor heard of a cheese grater being sharpened but you see where i was going

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Re: Petition to strip Peter Jackson of his knighthood

Postby Lurch » Tue Jan 07, 2014 9:33 pm

In the wake of the Jimmy Savile thing over in the UK I learnt that if you are dead you are no longer a knight, making it pretty hard to remove the honour.
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Re: Petition to strip Peter Jackson of his knighthood

Postby mmmm....good crack » Tue Jan 07, 2014 10:02 pm

who cares
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Re: Petition to strip Peter Jackson of his knighthood

Postby kitten_slayer » Sun Jan 12, 2014 10:20 am

mmmm....good crack wrote:who cares

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Review of "The Hobbit - Desolation of Smaug"

Postby kitten_slayer » Wed Jan 22, 2014 9:30 am

I think the second installment is brilliant. The romantic twists gives short men everywhere hope :D :oops:

Who else liked the romance on this movie?

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Re: Petition to strip Peter Jackson of his knighthood

Postby Dead Kid » Tue Mar 24, 2015 12:59 pm

I found the 3rd Hobbit film disappointing compared to the first two. I enjoyed watching it, but even without reading the book it was too obvious that the film put too much emphasis on the wrong things and could've been far better. In the film they have the main characters climb to higher ground and fight annoyingly lengthy one-on-one battles. So instead of the Battle of the 5 Armies being an epic climax, it just feels like a backdrop going on down below that only gets a handful of scenes.

I wanted more fucking drop bear Beorn, and more Billy Connolly:

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Re: Petition to strip Peter Jackson of his knighthood

Postby aerozol » Tue Mar 24, 2015 1:09 pm

Dead Kid wrote:even without reading the book it was too obvious that the film put too much emphasis on the wrong things

Only watched the first one, but they could not have missed the essence of that story by more if they'd tried.

It was all about epic chase scenes... sure...

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Re: Petition to strip Peter Jackson of his knighthood

Postby 9seconds » Tue Mar 24, 2015 1:22 pm

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Re: Petition to strip Peter Jackson of his knighthood

Postby Lurch » Tue Mar 24, 2015 9:06 pm

I enjoyed the "Dwarfed Edition" fan edit of the first two films more than I would have thought. Essentially cut the two films down to approx two hours with all the bullshit left behind. Hopefully once the DVD of the third comes out - special extended scenes please - then it will be even better.
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Re: Petition to strip Peter Jackson of his knighthood

Postby Drax » Wed Mar 25, 2015 8:47 am

So, wait, did Jackson basically pull a George Lucas and bluescreen and CGI almost fucking everything in these films? The above clip looks like a cutscene from a shit computer game.

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Re: Petition to strip Peter Jackson of his knighthood

Postby Lurch » Wed Mar 25, 2015 5:39 pm

Yeah pretty much. Assuming the 3rd one is even worse, which is an easy assumption to make.
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