star wars ep 7!?

Talk on films, TV programmes, and other pretty flashing colours.
User avatar
snuff
Information Highway Patrol
Posts: 11349
Joined: Wed Aug 21, 2002 6:56 pm
Location: Vault 101

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby snuff » Thu Jan 07, 2016 10:13 pm

. wrote:machete order


This. I also found after watching Clone Wars that 2 and 3 were a lot more enjoyable as well.
I guess you really need to ask yourself... What Would Graeme Do?

User avatar
Dixon Cider A.C.
Posts: 3917
Joined: Fri Aug 24, 2007 1:09 pm
Location: pito one

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby Dixon Cider A.C. » Thu Jan 07, 2016 10:44 pm

All three prequels are fucking abortions let's not kid ourselves

User avatar
Drax
Posts: 4813
Joined: Thu Oct 29, 2009 3:17 am
Location: Running with men G.
Contact:

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby Drax » Fri Jan 08, 2016 3:45 am

. wrote:ep I has: jar jar binks, the concept of mediclorians, that precocious fucking brat, a weird convoluted side story about trade disputes, pod racing, a virgin birth.

eps II and III have: none of the above.

i'm seriously not defending ep II and III because they are awful, but they're fucking MILES better than the absolute embarrassment of terrible ideas that was ep I. but more than all of that, ep I's biggest sin is that it is absolutely irrelevant. seriously. name ONE thing that happens in ep I that is relevant at ALL to anything that happens in any other episode afterwards? you can start with ep II and the story still makes perfect sense. in fact it makes MORE sense, actually, because you've skipped all the retarded stuff mentioned above.

All the prequels have Jar Jar. The concept of midichlorians does not go away after Ep I. Hayden Christensen's performance is consistent with little shit Anakin, and the character is pretty much equally unlikable. All the prequels have shitty, tedious politics in the plot content even though Ep I's are the most poorly conceived. I honestly think the pod race scene is decent since it's pretty much the ONLY action sequence in the prequels that has any real tension in it. But I won't defend it too hard, cause fair enough if other people think pod racing is wack.

There is an equally sizable slew of bullshit presented in all the prequels. Ep I doesn't have: 'younglings', Anakin being set on fire, Yoda doing flips, Padme dying during childbirth, General Grievous, ruining wookiees, a clone army sharing the accent of a guy they never hang out with, etc.

If Ep. I's biggest sin is being completely irrelevant (and you're dead right, it is), then III's is frivolously including a whole bunch of wrap up shit that contradicts and removes dramatic effect from the following episodes, and II's is being a 142min sequence of walking, talking, and Anakin and Obi-Wan disliking each other. I is a shit kid's movie, while II and III are shit movies for all ages that fuck up a a bunch of the most crucial elements of the storyline. I guess 'objectively' I'd say they're all equally shite, I just probably find Ep I easier to deal with since it has Sith characters that actually come across as being, you know, evil. And it's the shortest by 5 or so minutes. 5 minutes is a long fucking time at the end of one of those movies.

User avatar
Subcide
Posts: 3222
Joined: Sat Jan 07, 2006 1:09 am
Location: Subcide Webzine
Contact:

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby Subcide » Fri Jan 08, 2016 11:04 am

'I Like It When You Die' is the fourth album by American grindcore band Anal Cunt. The album was originally titled You're Gay, and the album cover was going to contain a mirror, but this idea was later changed

Image

User avatar
yossarian
Posts: 4648
Joined: Thu Sep 09, 2004 11:49 am
Location: I'VE SAID MY BEEF

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby yossarian » Fri Jan 08, 2016 12:43 pm

Subcide wrote:https://www.facebook.com/notes/matty-granger/at-long-lastmy-star-wars-episode-vii-review-the-force-awakens-the-rise-of-idiot-/10153163095086277?hc_location=ufi


That was incredibly frustrating to read because on one hand: Yes, absolutely, fuck the "everything wrong with x in thirty seconds" arrogant, entirely dunning krueger based approach. Fuck it till it dies bleeding. On the other hand: This guys is a fucking idiot, a hypocrite, classist, and basically just Abe Simpson shaking his fist at the cloud (pun intended).

User avatar
Subcide
Posts: 3222
Joined: Sat Jan 07, 2006 1:09 am
Location: Subcide Webzine
Contact:

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby Subcide » Fri Jan 08, 2016 1:10 pm

'I Like It When You Die' is the fourth album by American grindcore band Anal Cunt. The album was originally titled You're Gay, and the album cover was going to contain a mirror, but this idea was later changed

Image

User avatar
Drax
Posts: 4813
Joined: Thu Oct 29, 2009 3:17 am
Location: Running with men G.
Contact:

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby Drax » Fri Jan 08, 2016 1:27 pm

. wrote:no, they don't.
Yes, they do. No shit he isn't a lead character.

. wrote:yes, it does. there is one single throw away reference to midichlorians after ep I and without the context of ep I it reads as space-dna.
But the context is still withstanding unless you choose to disregard Ep I. The only reason it isn't explored further in II and III is because it's a go-nowhere concept that does nothing to drive the plot. Lucas would still have introduced it later if he hadn't in Ep I.

. wrote:at this point in the story, anikan is SUPPOSED to be unlikable.
No, because he is immediately unlikable from the outset of II. It makes no sense for him to be an (intended) likable character for only 2/3 of one movie in a trilogy that lasts 7 fucking hours when his story is the central arc. In II at least his character should develop in a way that increases the audience's sympathy with him and ropes you in more for the impending tragedy.

. wrote:it's not tedious or convoluted in ep II. in ep II, star systems want to leave the republic. that's straight-forward and easy it's easy to understand what is going on.
I didn't say it was convoluted in II. It's tedious because it's still fucking boring. It's easy to understand, but it results in tedious scenes, dialogue and plot points. No one gives a fuck about that shit, and the over-abundance of it wasn't necessary to drive the storyline.

. wrote:actually, not at all if viewed in machete order. in fact, i genuinely think eps II and II increase dramatic effect when viewed in machete order.
I can't disagree with that. But that order is an audience invention that puts those movies to better use. The film-makers didn't come up with it so it adds no credit to the films themselves. The continuity fuckups and lazy fan service withstand.

. wrote:i think you are looking at the episodes as stand-alone movies and i'm looking at the bigger picture as they each sit in the context of the greater story arc.
Nope. All the prequels are equally shit as stand-alone movies and episodes in a saga. They all bloat a piss-poor treatment of the existing storyline and throw up glaring contradictions and plot holes. II and III are especially guilty of being too fucking long, too fucking boring, and turning Obi-Wan into one of the most uninteresting characters ever brought to the big screen, when arguably he should be the central character of the whole trilogy. Ep I is really only slightly more watchable due to having less walking, talking, Cirque du Jedi, and the lamest dark side characters outside of fanfiction.

/tldr

User avatar
Dead Kid
Posts: 5929
Joined: Tue Aug 09, 2005 5:52 pm
Location: Auckland
Contact:

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby Dead Kid » Fri Jan 08, 2016 2:40 pm

Get a pod you two.
General Mutante wrote:"So you think you're floating in mint sauce son"

User avatar
Drax
Posts: 4813
Joined: Thu Oct 29, 2009 3:17 am
Location: Running with men G.
Contact:

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby Drax » Fri Jan 08, 2016 3:11 pm

Jar Jar is still present, and he still does some shit. However minimal his presence may be, it's still there, so those movies aren't off the hook.

THAT IS LITERALLY WHAT WE ARE TALKING ABOUT WHAT IS YOUR READING COMPREHENSION LEVEL?

Again, the concept is still present, however minimal. You can't ignore knowing just how retarded the concept being mentioned is unless you have NEVER seen Ep I, which is either happy accident, or deliberate decision. SO YOU AND I AND EVERYONE OTHER PERSON WHO ISN'T BLISSFULLY IGNORANT OF EPISODE I HAS TO ACTIVELY PRETEND THE CONCEPT ISN'T PRESENT. THE PREQUELS WERE MADE TO BE WATCHED IN SEQUENCE.

it is called character development. welcome to script writing 101.

every problem you raise is not an issue in machete order.
Do you mean 'painfully shitty script writing 101'? Because setting out to have a central protagonist only endearing for a fraction of the trilogy they are present in (and all of that happening in the one that is most worthy of being disregarded) is fucking RETARDED. Machete order doesn't solve the problem of Anakin because he sucks the WHOLE time. There is no tension in his character development because there's fuck all internal conflict and there's no weight in his tragedy because you don't give a fuck about him. I think the only time I was on the verge of rooting for him was when you get to the part where he MIGHT waste that cunt Obi-Wan. And then he GETS HIS LEGS CUT OFF DOING A BIT OF A JUMP. And then they set him on fire. And it's funny, CAUSE YOU DON'T SYMPATHISE WITH THE CHARACTER.

And fuck, do I have to reiterate this: machete order is irrelevant and affords no credit to the films themselves because it's an audience invention to make those shitheaps more usable. II and III are so fucking bad they can't even function properly in their intended spots in the sequence.

User avatar
yossarian
Posts: 4648
Joined: Thu Sep 09, 2004 11:49 am
Location: I'VE SAID MY BEEF

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby yossarian » Fri Jan 08, 2016 3:14 pm

. wrote:no, he's not. he's a fucking good script writer who knows what he's talking about.


Did you not note the constant "millenials! social media!" bullshit peppered throughout the article?
Which was all incorrect anyway?

Being a good scriptwriter has absolutely nothing to do with not being a dickhead.

For example, let's take a couple of sentences and swap one word describing a large, diverse group of people for another; and one writing tool for another and see if it stands up:

a bigot wrote:I don’t know about the rest of you but I’ve grown exhausted with the horseshit, hater culture that online, women ‘journalists’ use to click-bait their way to some sort of self-perceived intellectual high ground.


for real, he is complaining about people being 'hate filled' while being a bigoted idiot wrote:In the end, I had to look up who the vagina having, hate-filled, female troll who wrote the Huffington Post article actually was. I imagined some smug, little feminist with horn-rimmed glasses and that typical bitchy air of female entitlement. However, what I found made this all the more disturbing


Like, for real yo.
Last edited by yossarian on Fri Jan 08, 2016 3:33 pm, edited 3 times in total.

User avatar
yossarian
Posts: 4648
Joined: Thu Sep 09, 2004 11:49 am
Location: I'VE SAID MY BEEF

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby yossarian » Fri Jan 08, 2016 3:24 pm

. wrote:Yeah.. true.. fuck craftsmanship. Everyone is good at everything and citizen journalism is the best thing ever.


Oh sweet, because newspapers (the relevant previous medium) are and have been a bastion of integrity, honesty, reality, and grammar.

I know you don't generally believe the world ever was a meritocracy, and that skill=career. I also know you're not a fan of capitalism, and we are literally talking about the means of production being removed from the hands of the few. I am honestly really confused.

User avatar
Dixon Cider A.C.
Posts: 3917
Joined: Fri Aug 24, 2007 1:09 pm
Location: pito one

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby Dixon Cider A.C. » Fri Jan 08, 2016 3:41 pm

every problem you raise is not an issue in machete order.


I don't know if you can justify bad filmmaking by saying 'it's not a problem if you watch the films in a context that the creators never intended'

User avatar
Drax
Posts: 4813
Joined: Thu Oct 29, 2009 3:17 am
Location: Running with men G.
Contact:

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby Drax » Fri Jan 08, 2016 4:07 pm

yossarian wrote:For example, let's take a couple of sentences and swap one word describing a large, diverse group of people for another; and one writing tool for another and see if it stands up:

a bigot wrote:I don’t know about the rest of you but I’ve grown exhausted with the horseshit, hater culture that online, women ‘journalists’ use to click-bait their way to some sort of self-perceived intellectual high ground.


for real, he is complaining about people being 'hate filled' while being a bigoted idiot wrote:In the end, I had to look up who the vagina having, hate-filled, female troll who wrote the Huffington Post article actually was. I imagined some smug, little feminist with horn-rimmed glasses and that typical bitchy air of female entitlement. However, what I found made this all the more disturbing


Like, for real yo.

Wat.
How on earth does that back up what you're saying?

I didn't like everything about that article but what he has to say about that particular breed of online 'journalism' is spot on, and he makes a sound rebuttal of every single point in that Huff Post article.

User avatar
Drax
Posts: 4813
Joined: Thu Oct 29, 2009 3:17 am
Location: Running with men G.
Contact:

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby Drax » Fri Jan 08, 2016 5:23 pm

Jesus Christ, and you thought you could give someone else shit about reading comprehension in this thread?

"machete order"

"machete order"

"but... machete order"

FFS No one's debating whether or not it works. It doesn't change the films, it repurposes them.

User avatar
Drax
Posts: 4813
Joined: Thu Oct 29, 2009 3:17 am
Location: Running with men G.
Contact:

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby Drax » Fri Jan 08, 2016 5:47 pm

No it's because you can't school me on some supposedly above-my-head shit that doesn't actually exist. Fair enough if you dislike II and III less, but don't try and argue they're miles better based on a bluff that you have a more nuanced understanding of filmmaking.
Last edited by Drax on Fri Jan 08, 2016 5:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Drax
Posts: 4813
Joined: Thu Oct 29, 2009 3:17 am
Location: Running with men G.
Contact:

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby Drax » Fri Jan 08, 2016 6:00 pm

Not really. Reread your posts.

I'm still open to having my mind changed. Point out at least one thing I am missing here. Or spit the dummy and call me simple again.

User avatar
PertHJ
Inventor of 'LOAL'
Posts: 19696
Joined: Tue Aug 20, 2002 8:53 pm
Location: Milano

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby PertHJ » Fri Jan 08, 2016 7:41 pm

Whoa chill the fuck out Al
http://hungjurynz.bandcamp.com/
http://www.discogs.com/user/pertHJ

Drinking beers, hell yeah!! Smoking dope, KICK TO THROAT!!

User avatar
9seconds
Posts: 1908
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2014 8:16 pm

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby 9seconds » Fri Jan 08, 2016 9:17 pm

punkas is back!
Image
"Look how happy he is"

User avatar
yossarian
Posts: 4648
Joined: Thu Sep 09, 2004 11:49 am
Location: I'VE SAID MY BEEF

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby yossarian » Fri Jan 08, 2016 9:45 pm

Drax wrote:
yossarian wrote:For example, let's take a couple of sentences and swap one word describing a large, diverse group of people for another; and one writing tool for another and see if it stands up:

a bigot wrote:I don’t know about the rest of you but I’ve grown exhausted with the horseshit, hater culture that online, women ‘journalists’ use to click-bait their way to some sort of self-perceived intellectual high ground.


for real, he is complaining about people being 'hate filled' while being a bigoted idiot wrote:In the end, I had to look up who the vagina having, hate-filled, female troll who wrote the Huffington Post article actually was. I imagined some smug, little feminist with horn-rimmed glasses and that typical bitchy air of female entitlement. However, what I found made this all the more disturbing


Like, for real yo.

Wat.
How on earth does that back up what you're saying?

I didn't like everything about that article but what he has to say about that particular breed of online 'journalism' is spot on, and he makes a sound rebuttal of every single point in that Huff Post article.


If you read what i wrote you'll see that the reason I found it annoying to read was that I agreed with his point but he was insufferable and a dick. Basically the way anyone feels when they agree with my posts.

User avatar
Drax
Posts: 4813
Joined: Thu Oct 29, 2009 3:17 am
Location: Running with men G.
Contact:

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby Drax » Wed Feb 24, 2016 12:43 am

Crikey.

makes it quite evident that you've taken a film course and think you know what the fuck your talking about.

No.

. wrote:i'm not going to repeat myself over and over again to convince you. everything you've said is wrong as fuck. your repeatedly pigheaded literal-mindedness is absolutely simple. you cling for dear life to obtuse literalisms without for a second taking on board the point of what i'm saying. that's why i called you simple.

and comments like

setting out to have a central protagonist only endearing for a fraction of the trilogy they are present in (and all of that happening in the one that is most worthy of being disregarded) is fucking RETARDED.


makes it quite evident that you've taken a film course and think you know what the fuck your talking about. because this is literally the exact opposite of what good writing is. i am not for a second holding either of these shitty movies up as an example of good writing, but this comment from you is just insanely ignorant. a character changing over the course of a story because of conflict is what an arc _is_.

you obviously consider yourself a bit of an expert, but actually you're just a classic case of dunning-kruger.

NO YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING.

I reckon you secrety think II and III are the shit.

User avatar
General Mutante
Posts: 9804
Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2004 4:57 pm
Location: Beyond the Thunderdome...
Contact:

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby General Mutante » Wed Feb 24, 2016 3:32 am

People care about some pretty pointless shit. For me the point of entertainment is to distract me from my hum drum existence for just long enough that I refrain from self-mutilation or summoning up the energy to put a brick through something. Therefore escapism is good. So is watching people argue earnestly about it like it actually matters.
Little Miss Twoshoes wrote:Violent period sex is a pretty good indicator that you're into someone, I think

FC wrote:I like that the swearing is removed. That's gangsta.

http://carnival01.bandcamp.com/

User avatar
9seconds
Posts: 1908
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2014 8:16 pm

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby 9seconds » Wed Feb 24, 2016 8:11 am

i found it amusing that some of this argument was a discussion on the various merits or lack thereof in journalism.

all journalists are scum, its just an industry that creates petty little pedagogues, there is no such thing as good journalism with integrity, at best thats as unrealistic and naive as the neo-liberal idea of the benevolent corporation that helps the little people, at worst its just a straight up lie, like the neo-liberal idea of the benevolent corporation that helps the little people.

next thing you will tell me theres good marketing execs with personal integrity and a humanitarian desire to promote egalitarianism and wage equality.
Image
"Look how happy he is"

User avatar
9seconds
Posts: 1908
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2014 8:16 pm

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby 9seconds » Wed Feb 24, 2016 8:20 am

. wrote:That Flash Gordon story is one of the most widely spread falsehoods in movie history. Stop reading non truths on the internet and thinking your an expert about everything.


stop ignoring the crucial points, and replying to less relevant ones with a condescending statement about believing stuff without evidence, then providing no evidence, and thinking youre an expert on everything.

if george lucas wasnt in it for the toy marketing, why did he swap most of his directors salary for the rights to the toy marketing?
on the first movie, which is called starwars.
Image
"Look how happy he is"

User avatar
Drax
Posts: 4813
Joined: Thu Oct 29, 2009 3:17 am
Location: Running with men G.
Contact:

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby Drax » Thu Feb 25, 2016 8:39 pm

Can't wait until . gets back up in this thread.

User avatar
9seconds
Posts: 1908
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2014 8:16 pm

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby 9seconds » Fri Mar 04, 2016 8:38 pm

he rage quit, blocked the website on all his devices.
Image
"Look how happy he is"

User avatar
Drax
Posts: 4813
Joined: Thu Oct 29, 2009 3:17 am
Location: Running with men G.
Contact:

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby Drax » Sat Mar 05, 2016 10:04 am

Can't bring himself to jump back into this shit since I called him out for liking II and III.

Episode VIII: The Force Pusses Out

Rap.

User avatar
PertHJ
Inventor of 'LOAL'
Posts: 19696
Joined: Tue Aug 20, 2002 8:53 pm
Location: Milano

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby PertHJ » Sat Mar 05, 2016 10:29 am

I hear he loves Ep iii
http://hungjurynz.bandcamp.com/
http://www.discogs.com/user/pertHJ

Drinking beers, hell yeah!! Smoking dope, KICK TO THROAT!!

User avatar
Drax
Posts: 4813
Joined: Thu Oct 29, 2009 3:17 am
Location: Running with men G.
Contact:

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby Drax » Sat Mar 05, 2016 3:38 pm

CONFIRMATION

User avatar
Subcide
Posts: 3222
Joined: Sat Jan 07, 2006 1:09 am
Location: Subcide Webzine
Contact:

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby Subcide » Sat Mar 05, 2016 9:49 pm

9seconds wrote:he rage quit, blocked the website on all his devices.


Probably because Drax was being a cunt to him
'I Like It When You Die' is the fourth album by American grindcore band Anal Cunt. The album was originally titled You're Gay, and the album cover was going to contain a mirror, but this idea was later changed

Image

User avatar
Dixon Cider A.C.
Posts: 3917
Joined: Fri Aug 24, 2007 1:09 pm
Location: pito one

Re: star wars ep 7!?

Postby Dixon Cider A.C. » Sun Mar 06, 2016 9:42 am

Not even. Dude was carrying on like a gimp


Return to “Movies & TV”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests