Transformers; a short (very short) review

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Riiiiiichard
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Postby Riiiiiichard » Fri Jun 29, 2007 12:37 pm

Matt wrote:Oh yeah, and if they "learnt English from the World Wide Web", why did not one of them EVER, not ONCE, say, "Its the system, think, first page, up the punx!"


Bahaha :lol:

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Postby snuff » Fri Jun 29, 2007 12:38 pm

Matt wrote:Oh yeah, and if they "learnt English from the World Wide Web", why did not one of them EVER, not ONCE, say, "Its the system, think, first page, up the punx!"


They didn't learn English, they learned Chinese (I assume it was Chinese) I guess because the highest percentage of humans speak it... the English was subtitled after they spoke in Chinese.
I guess you really need to ask yourself... What Would Graeme Do?

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Postby yossarian » Fri Jun 29, 2007 12:49 pm

Matt wrote: even though he smashed her off


:lol:

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Postby Akuma » Fri Jun 29, 2007 1:22 pm

Matt wrote:I just don't know WHY a blockbuster movie has to be dumb. Is there a rule somewhere? Surely it wouldn't take *that* much effort to have things actually make sense and write some funny lines and have characters?

It's just so weird that you get SO much work into making all the FX pretty and the lighting and colours nice, yet absolutely nothing into a story or script. And yet that seems to be enough to be successful.


yeah. there is. to make maximum cash a movie has to appeal to the lowest common denominator. which is pretty much why all blockbusters suck.

people are dumb, mass media reflects this perfectly.
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Postby Akuma » Fri Jun 29, 2007 1:24 pm

snuff wrote:
Matt wrote:Oh yeah, and if they "learnt English from the World Wide Web", why did not one of them EVER, not ONCE, say, "Its the system, think, first page, up the punx!"


They didn't learn English, they learned Chinese (I assume it was Chinese) I guess because the highest percentage of humans speak it... the English was subtitled after they spoke in Chinese.


Oh was that Chinese? :oops:

I thought it was Cybertron runes that they translated into English.

Shame.
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Postby presuming ed » Fri Jun 29, 2007 1:25 pm

i thought it was pretty good for what it was. a big dumb blockbuster film with alien robots aimed at 12 year olds and meant to reignite a toy buying frenzy.
there were some genuinely funny moments of dialogue. the vfx were nicely done - although some of the actors sometimes seemed to lose the eye line of the robots.
i fucking hate michael bay but the guy does do big stupid cg action scenes pretty well - or at least has developed his own style of doing them in a way that's suited to this kind of thing. all anyone cares about is that it's true to the original series and that the action scenes and the girls are top notch. and in that case it succeeded imo.
it wasn't as good as robocop but then that wasn't aimed at twelve year olds.

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Postby Matt » Fri Jun 29, 2007 1:38 pm

snuff wrote:They didn't learn English, they learned Chinese (I assume it was Chinese) I guess because the highest percentage of humans speak it... the English was subtitled after they spoke in Chinese.


Optimus Prime said the WWW thing in an explanation of why Jazz spoke the way he did, and he spoke in English, as did all the Autobots.

I assume the Decepticons needed subtitles so they could be non-American and hence the Bad Guys.

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Postby snuff » Fri Jun 29, 2007 5:04 pm

I figured the AB's were speaking in English because their interaction was with English speaking humans, for some reason I thought that was explained.

Whereas the Decepticons had little interaction with humans so they were still on default 'human' language i.e the most commonly spoken...

Maybe I just read too much into it...
I guess you really need to ask yourself... What Would Graeme Do?

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Postby MuscleMan » Fri Jun 29, 2007 5:10 pm

snuff wrote:
general wrote:optimus prime was too in touch with his feelings, i mean apologising to megatron was a tad... gay.


Optimus was always the compassionate one, I didn't think his character was any diff from the cartoons... don't remember the bit where he apologised to Megatron though?

Jayme wrote:+Megatron flicking that human


That was awesome! Like a fuckin fly!

refrigerator wrote:...mostly loose ends that weren't tied up very well...
The inevitable sequels might be a little better since they don't have to set up some of the characters and so on...


That was always gonna be the case with a franchise as big as this... I reckon the best bet for the sequel is to base it on The Heavy Metal War episodes and introduce The Constructicons and The Dinobots.

Why the tank in this film was called Devestator and not Warpath I'm not sure, I guess he's dead though...

Obviously with Starscream taking off hopefully he'll return with Thundercracker, Thrust, and Ramjet etc which means they'll be able to focus more on Starscream and his intentions of superseding Megatron.

It'll no doubt go into humankind's rallying behind the Autobots, perhaps then they could introduce the Ark crashing to earth, then they'd be able to have Teletraan 1 which would be a good setup to intro'ing the Dinobots, and could then allow them some kind of scaling technology which means we could see Soundwave/Blaster etc...


in the comics the tank was called devastator, they renamed him warpath when they decided devastator was a better name for the constructicons final form.

I want to see the mafuckin combaticons man, that would be rad... and that A-10 warthog whos name escapes me (air razor?)

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Postby snuff » Fri Jun 29, 2007 5:21 pm

steve f wrote:in the comics the tank was called devastator, they renamed him warpath when they decided devastator was a better name for the constructicons final form.

I want to see the mafuckin combaticons man, that would be rad... and that A-10 warthog whos name escapes me (air razor?)


Oh sweet man cheers for that, was the A-10 Wing Saber or something?

Those A-10's in the film, and that strafing gunship were AWESOME!
I guess you really need to ask yourself... What Would Graeme Do?

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Postby the croc » Fri Jun 29, 2007 6:43 pm

refrigerator wrote: christ its transformers, not citizen kane.


Yeah if you go expecting to see something smart, prepare to be disappointed.

Sure its full of bad puns, shitty jokes and the story is rather incoherent but fuck who cares? You got to see big fucking robots fighting, which was awesome, and which I think was the whole point.

I had a swell time. 7/10
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Postby Former Child Star » Fri Jun 29, 2007 8:20 pm

. wrote:
refrigerator wrote: christ its transformers, not citizen kane.


fucking :roll: noone's expecting citizen kane, but this had the potential to be fucking awesome, and from all trustable sources it's been fucked up bad. bay can rot in hell.



oh ffs....go and make up your own mind you spinless cretin
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Postby general » Sat Jun 30, 2007 11:39 pm

Akuma wrote:highlight of the movie for me was starscream ruining all the f-22's shit above the city.

fuck yeah, that was top shit

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Postby general » Sat Jun 30, 2007 11:45 pm

snuff wrote:
general wrote:optimus prime was too in touch with his feelings, i mean apologising to megatron was a tad... gay.


Optimus was always the compassionate one, I didn't think his character was any diff from the cartoons... don't remember the bit where he apologised to Megatron though?



something along the lines of "i'm sorry brother" straight after megatron got waxed. optimus didn't apologise to bonecrusher after he wasted him real good.

yeah sure, optimus was always compassionate, but not a touchy feely homax.

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Postby YouAgain » Sun Jul 01, 2007 12:35 am

this was one of the coolest fucking movies I have ever seen, it was like just lots of fighting and cheesy one liners, everything that the transformers should be! Childhood relived!

See this movie as soon as you can, im going again as soon as I get payed!

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Postby refrigerator » Sun Jul 01, 2007 12:44 am

general wrote:
something along the lines of "i'm sorry brother" straight after megatron got waxed. optimus didn't apologise to bonecrusher after he wasted him real good.

yeah sure, optimus was always compassionate, but not a touchy feely homax.


I think in the backstory for this movie optimus and megatron were brothers (or very close)
I think they were the rulers of cybertron, before megatron decided he wanted to rule the universe instead.

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Postby general » Sun Jul 01, 2007 10:36 am

i maintain that all it needed was a crywank.

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Postby Danny Morrissey » Mon Jul 02, 2007 10:27 am

Needed more actual fighting and less gaying it up AKA searching for the glasses while the Autobots act like homos.

Script was horrible, lets drive the all spark into the middle of a city and then get helicopters to pick it up ..... what was the fucken point of that again, they at least could of tried to write a decent explanation in.
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Postby presuming ed » Mon Jul 02, 2007 12:10 pm

. wrote:
refrigerator wrote: christ its transformers, not citizen kane.


fucking :roll: noone's expecting citizen kane, but this had the potential to be fucking awesome, and from all trustable sources it's been fucked up bad. bay can rot in hell.


dunno about that - agree about bay rotting in hell though. i went to the opening midnight screening and it was full of fanboys who loved it and were cheering and laughing in all the right places. i think this is probably the best bay movie since the rock. it's not perfect but he definitely didn't fuck it up bad.

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Postby danwhat___ » Mon Jul 02, 2007 12:25 pm

i liked it,

that mountain dew machine that turned into a robot was cool.

how come all the robots that the cube thing made were evil?

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Postby ruff » Mon Jul 02, 2007 12:35 pm

. wrote:get fucked, i'm not that stupid.


taking someone elses word on something rather than having your own opinion especially when its something like enjoying a movie or not is the deffinition of stupid you baby... take your toys along and make up your own mind.

and yes i thought it was fucking rad... i.e i had a good time and plan on seeing it again... its entertainment, i was entertained, much like g'n'r and sebastion was... if you spend your whole time reading into shit and looking for holes your a fucking empty human being who will go through life constantly feeling dissapointed.

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Postby LegDog » Mon Jul 02, 2007 2:07 pm

Yeah, it inevitably gets watered down when it's a blockbuster, lowest-common-denominator type adaptation, but you've gotta bear in mind that dumbing things down is simply the only way to cram so much stuff into a 2 and a half hour movie.

I think in many ways, it was pretty true to the feel and spirit of the early comics/cartoons. I thought they should initially set it in the '80s to achieve this, but I think Bay did an OK job.
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Postby Danny Morrissey » Mon Jul 02, 2007 2:26 pm

I don't know, it's still possible to be a blockbuster and still have a coherent script.
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Postby Normf » Mon Jul 02, 2007 2:35 pm

Yea ill probebly see it too, dont have that high hopes for it eh...
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Postby Akuma » Mon Jul 02, 2007 2:37 pm

D.A.R.Y.L. wrote:I don't know, it's still possible to be a blockbuster and still have a coherent script.



well.. in theory it is.
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Postby Matt » Mon Jul 02, 2007 3:04 pm

Totally.

I know it's a kids' film, but even kids' films don't have to be as stupid as Transformers was. The Pixar stuff leaps to mind.

And there have been some intelligent blockbusters recently - stuff like War of the Worlds (I know a lot of people hated the ending, but as a movie, it was a lot smarter) and so on do harken back to the days of Raiders of the Lost Ark, Jaws, Die Hard, Alien, Robocop, etc etc. Hell, even Jurassic Park was a solid script.

It just seems the majority these days are crushingly stupid. I dug Pirates of the Carribean, but the sequels were moronic. Same deal with The Matrix. But they succeed. For every Stealth that bombs, there are three Fantastic Fours that make a packet.

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Postby LegDog » Mon Jul 02, 2007 3:24 pm

The problem with a franchise like Transformers (and something like, say, Spiderman, which has had over 30 years' development) is that there is often a huge back-history (I guess I'm talking more in terms of plot here). To do it any kind of justice that will keep obsessive fanboys/film critics alike happy, these films would have to be at least twice as long as they are).

I was so obsessed with Transformers as a kid, and heavily got into the original US Marvel comic series, and so naturally I initially hated the idea of an All Spark - but I see why it had to be dumbed down somewhat now and think it was a reasonable compromise.

I thought the script was ok. At the end of the day, I agree with Inferno's initial post in that they didn't absolutely rape one of my fondest childhood memories.
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Postby Matt » Mon Jul 02, 2007 3:50 pm

Yeah, that's a good point - it's the double-edged sword of remakes/adaptations; although you have a built-in fanbase with brand recognition, it brings with it the expectations that same fanbase had.

Personally, I don't care in any remakes/adaptations if they change things wholesale...as long as it is a good movie. The upcoming I Am Legend looks very different from the book, but who knows? Could be good. Whereas the remake of A Tale of Two Sisters feels doomed to fail because the subtlety and inventive plotting that made the original so great is EXACTLY what is likely to change to appeal to the multiplex audience.

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Postby yossarian » Tue Jul 03, 2007 12:53 am

I don't care what any of you think, I'm teh transformers nerd HARD, and this movie was
FUCKING AWESOME

Heaps and heaps of line swipes from the series and the original movie. Of course it wasn't highbrow art, it's a toy ad, remember?

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Postby LegDog » Tue Jul 03, 2007 10:27 am

Freedom is the right of all sentient beings... FTW
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